How can I care?

Mental Health Anxiety & Panic Disorders
1

I didn't go to my last hydrotherapy session today. I didn't even call in to tell them that I wasn't coming. Very rude of me, i know....and irresponsible. I suck.

I just can't seem to get my **** together.....I am SO tired!! So very tired, I could sleep forever and want to.

There's too much going on in my life, too much stuff that involves other people and I just want it all to go away. Why can't things just be more simple?

My mom goes tomorrow to start her spinal injections, and she is a thousand miles away and I can't be there to help her.....My Grandma has less than 2 weeks to get her septic fixed or her house is going to be condemned and she will have to move. She's old and poor and I don't know what's going to happen with that.

My body HURTS.....Especially my neck and shoulders and I just want everything and everybody to GO AWAY and LEAVE ME ALONE....

I feel extreme GUILT because I SUCK.....Things need to be done around the house and I just DON'T CARE.....People expect things from me.....and....this is so mean of me....but...sometimes I get tired of being the mom and the wife....the problem solver, the maid, the nurse, the cook....Everyone depends on me to make this house run....

I have not eaten yet today or taken my meds, which I know I need to do, but I don't care....How can I make myself care?

2

YOU DONT SUCK-first off..breathe. In...out...repeat.

Take your meds. Just do it. And eat. Do it. Now. Pop a pill..drink some water after so it goes down. There, done deal. Good stuff. And you will start feeling better. Life will seem more simple. Life will be more simple..

Just a nice kick in the butt to get going. Hope it helps.

3

Hi, Jassy....Thank you....I just ate some Pringles...LOL...Not very nutritious, but at least there is something in my belly so I can take my meds.....
Savella...down....Cymbalta....down....In a few minutes I will shower and maybe feel human.....Thanks for the kick in the butt....I DID need it!

Always,
YaYa

4

anytime hun..we all do

5

= )

6

Know how you have been feeling Ya ya, thanks for being real. There are days when I could do with a friend to tell me what to do to help me get moving.

I am the mother and wife who is supposed to make this home run, but some days I find it hard to get moving before lunch time.

Hard to believe 5 mths ago I was working 8am till 5.30pm and at least once a week bringing home 3hrs of work. Guess I just took on more than I could cope with.

I pray to God I some day find my balance.

Regards light blue

7

Light Blue....

Yes, that is exactly how I feel.....I stumble out of bed each morning to make lunch for my 17 year before he goes to school...Then after he leaves, I go back to bed for a couple more hours....Then I wake up again around 10 and try to get it together by the time my husband comes home for lunch at noon.....I am kind of disorganized and tired all the time....I just seem to have lost my "mojo".....Have you seen it? LOL

Balance...yes, that would be great....I used to be a great waitress and at one time I worked 2 jobs....Pharmacy clerk by day and waitress by night.....I cannot even imagine doing that now....WTH happened to me? I just broke down one day and I have not been the same person since....I miss that girl....

Always,
YaYa

8

Sounds like you are having boundary issues. Something I have been struggling with myself. For awhile now I have been going from being stressed to being frustrated, to angry, and depressed. For some reason recently I realized I was having boundary issues. I felt guilty for not taking care of other people's problems, including family members. Our family members have the biggest impact on us, since we feel so emotionally attached to them.

Anyway, may I recommend a book called "Boundaries" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend, based on teachings from the Christian Bible. I prefer the audiobook from itunes.

Having boundary issues will cause all of the symptoms you have described. You constantly let people into your emotional "space", crossing your boundaries. You have to realize you can't do everything, and help everyone. And that includes your mother, grandmother, husband, and kids. Part of being responsible, which the book teaches you, is to know what your responsibilities are, and are not.

Check it out and hopefully it will help you in ways it has already beginning to help me.

9

dear lightblue, having a family is hard at best and it sounds like you are in a difficult time for some reason that could be boundary issues, i don't know, quite possible from what others whom i trust are saying. their reccommendations are sound. i too went through a collapse and found that i had to establish clear boundaries to get my much needed rest for healing of soul and body. may you find your way around this issue. i had to remember i was a child of God made in His image, He loved me and wanted me well, or weller and it was up to me to get myself better and find a way to do that and with His help i was able to do it. all my best and with faith and hope that you will find your own wellness and what that looks like for you. a humble prayer warrior.

10

gee whiz girl i hope we can get you back together soon. Ha, someone stole my mojo! Yes, we will look together, but not holding our breath for now.

So you want to trade days then? I see you wanted to skip a day. If i want to skip a day, I take, um, well, it is not going to work for everyone, ok, i will tell you in a PM.

I got something today, it is called Inositol

Inositol is used for diabetic nerve pain, panic disorder, high cholesterol, insomnia, cancer, depression, schizophrenia, Alzheimer’s disease, attention deficit-hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, promoting hair growth, a skin disorder called psoriasis, and treating side effects of medical treatment with lithium.

I also got some choline.

PRESCRIBED FOR: Choline magnesium salicylate is used for the rapid relief of mild to moderate pain and fever. Choline magnesium salicylate also is used for the treatment of inflammation and pain due to soft tissue injuries, tendinitis, bursitis, rheumatoid arthritis, osteoarthritis, juvenile arthritis, and other related arthritis conditions.

Now, these may help you, especially the inositol.

Alright, so i am not an MD, BUT, i am on like 20+ meds right now, some as many as three times per day. I have researched extensively all of my current, and past meds. I know that inositol has been known to aid in the relief of many things.

It is in some multi vitamins already, but in a very small dose. you can get a prescription, or maybe health store.

I want all of my friends to be healthy, happy, pain, and mental strife free.

Whoever gets there first, fill the rest of us in will you?

Skip a day, or trade, hmmm.

peace and hope and hugs, and support, and, well, I can't do your laundry online, but good luck with that one. John

11

John....You make me laugh!!

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i try real hard to be the plucky comic relief. even when my hands are spasing big time, and typing is painful. i want everyone to have an upbeat attitude. i know not always possible to be physical, or mental pain free, but a laugh, a smile, some warm sun on your face literally, or metaphorically, always seems to help. live love laugh, john

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dear John, typing is painful for me too, i spasm in my neck and shoulder left side from an old head injury when i was 15. oh boy does it hurt! but i need the support and i need to support others. it has changed my life. thanks for sharing your pain with us and reminding me so clearly that i am not alone.

i am working on having a cheerful attitude this week and the coming weeks. this is my important intention and i am working on it. how much better are those around me when i am cheerful and upbeat. thanks again for your support and affirmation on this really important point.

and by the way, you always put a smile on my face anyways.
!

all my best, with faith and hope, your cheerful prayer warrior, maria

14

Hey Maria, sorry you hurt too. I hope healing for you, but understand long standing injury. Yes, worth hurt to support. Worth pain to laugh. I would laugh if it hurt physically to help mentally.

In the company of goofy heads.

Ya_Ya laughing, that is funny stand alone. glad to help raise spirits.

Well, we are not going to go away, so get ur S together missy!

Eat something, take ur meds, get some rest...umm, maybe laugh.

sorry bout ur grandma, hope for the best on that one. sounds like a big time issue long time comin kinda crept up on everyone.

take a deep breath, well, a few then, but please eat, meds, sleep, laugh, at least laugh and um, um, meds.

you can live one week without food, three days without water, four minutes without oxygen, but not one second without, and the last one is kinda fuzzy, is it hope, or meds, or laughter?

john

15

dear john and Ya_Ya i hope you are laughing still. don't know if you can live life without hope meds or laughter. meds

i am searching for right now and just making it with a cheerful attitude keeping to my scheduled routine, staying out of bed and taking the meds i do have.

but hope i gotta have, hope that all things will get better, hope thatyou will lighten things up for us and remind us what is important. like it is important to take a nap even when staying out of bed. and laughter ties the whoe thing together.

so thank you for your response John and keeping it simple. you are a real gem in the changing fortunes of time. tell me how did you get your injury if you don't mind? mine was a swmming pool accident and i never realized how serious it was until i started aging even as a young person. it has been bothering me all my life and now makes things i love to do difficult, but taking meds for it is not an answer, muscle relaxants make me drunk and at my age that is dangerous, even at night. but i am glad i found you to talk to.

all my best, with faith and hope, your humble prayer warrior will be praying for you too, maria

16

Just letting you all know that I am still alive and trying....Not doing so good this past week....Sorry I have not been around.....I dropped off the grid, so to speak....Working on trying to get back to normal, whatever the hell that is....Much love....YaYa

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dear ya_ya we are here for you whenever you want, and you are always in my thoughts and prayers as a fellow sufferor i pray for you daily.

all my best, with hope in your recover and faith that you can do this day, your prayer warrior

18

"in memory of trees" is kinda helping me right now. thinking about my condition weakens me further, so I try not to. turn the music up louder to drown out the ringing in my ears. What can we find to help ease our friend Ya Ya suffering and raise her spirits? Thank you to our good friends and prayer warrior for helping all while carrying yourself as well. thanks