How can I help someone understand what it is I'm dealing with? I have tried sharing journal entry's, things I find online, accounts from other people, things I have learned in school and nothing works. I don't let very many people in, most people don't know much about what it is I go through-- but this person has seen me suffer first hand. They have seen the episodes, panic attacks, and tears. How can someone witness all of this and still not think it's real? I didn't choose to be this way :(
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It is so hard to get someone to understand what we go through. I've tried myself for 8 years to get my boyfriend to understand BPD. I have come to the realization he will never fully understand it. He just needs to trust me when I say I can't control certain things and I just think and act differently than other people. It is asking a lot to expect others to understand us. I don't know if it's possible because they don't live in our heads. They can read up on the disorder but they have to want to get it and it isn't convenient. Sometimes we aren't convenient. We can be a pain in the ***. I think they think we are blaming our disorder as a copout. I feel that way sometimes.
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@cassrose99 That’s awesome that you guys have been together that long. I haven’t had much luck in the romance department. I understand that he isn’t in my head, so there is no way he can fully understand-- I just don’t know how to get him to trust that I can’t control certain things. He holds me to the same standards that he holds himself. Which can be okay when my symptoms are under control, but when they’re out of whack (like now) I need a little extra support. I guess maybe I need to come to terms that he doesn’t want to get it? or isn’t capable of that form of empathy? For me it’s just difficult to comprehend, because disorder aside I am a very empathetic person. Yeah, we definitely aren’t convenient at times. He hates that I can’t handle change. I can understand him thinking it’s a copout too, for so long I questioned that myself. It was once I really started seeking help and doing everything possible that I realized sometimes it was outside of me. I guess ultimately I can’t blame him, I didn’t ask for this, and neither did he. It’s a lot to handle. It just hurts to be misunderstood and made to feel worse about myself, even though I understand where it’s coming from. I don’t know what else to do
@cassrose99 i'm very happy you two are still togheter it takes alot of patience and understanding for someone to be with someone like us. Best Wishes Though xoxo
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Him. He has been able to put up with my bullshit for a long time. I've also worked very hard to try to verbalize my feelings to try to get him to understand when I'm freaking out about things or when I have black\white thinking. He has been understanding even when he doesn't really get it. I know it's been hard on him and I feel like I'm making him unhappy a lot of the time. But you said it too, and it is so true. You didn't ask for this, and neither did I. It is like any other disease. It's not our fault.
@cassrose99 Words cannot express how truly happy I am for you. It’s not easy to find someone who is understanding enough to deal with the difficulties we face. I’ve tried being very verbal with him, not so much pointing out that I am thinking in black in white, but explaining my irrational thinking. Or telling him what it is I need from him at the moment. I guess maybe I haven’t found the right one yet. Gah it sucks. I thought I had finally gotten close to somewhat of a “normal” life. All I’ve ever wanted was to feel accepted. He made me feel that way, until things got pretty bad. I need to keep reminding myself that it’s like any other disease. Thank you
And it is. I'm sorry he isn't supportive. I don't know why mine is. That's not to say he doesn't have his moments where he makes me feel like a freak and we break up every other week. We just have stuck it out, I guess. He must be a glutton for punishment. You will find someone who will understand you, or at least try to. That is the biggest thing. Trying to. Understanding is very hard. I don't understand what goes on in my own head half the time.
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@cassrose99 It’s okay, I’ll come to terms with it hopefully. I was actually doing really okay before I started dating him, so maybe I’m just better off alone for now? Who knows. I’m sorry you have to deal with that part. None of us should ever have to feel like freaks just because we are different. BUT I am glad you guys have been able to stick it out. I’m sure he just loves you, you seem like a very nice person. Thank you, I will keep hoping. Haha yeah, I’m with you there girl. My head is like trying to tune into a radio station that can’t get a signal from half the time.
He's supportive because he loves you girl! Believe it or not but he's obviously very much inlove with you
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Thank you. I'm sure you understand a lot of these disorders go along with low self esteem. I have never felt worthy of love. I've never loved myself. I never believed anyone would love me. I hope he does. We are worthy everyone. This **** doesn't define us.
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@cassrose99 YES! such a powerful statement
Amen to that. My head feels the same way. It will be okay. I think relationships can either aka us better or worse. Drama definitely makes us worse. Simplify your life. We need positivity. I'm here if you need me!!
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@cassrose99 It’s really nice not to feel so alone. This group is the first time I’ve had people to talk to like me. Definitely! Unfortunately I feel like the only way I’m going to learn how to cope with being in one is by being in one (oh the irony of life lol). You are right though, I do need to simplify. Trying to get back in a positive state of mind. Thank you so much! Same goes to you!! 
@cassrose99 Your welcome. and i've been there thinking he doesn't love or care about you or that you arent good enough and he can do better but he chose to stay by your side you have to remember that and stay strong!