How can I start addressing my step-mother 'ammu'?

I am 16 years old and need advice on a matter.
When I was two years old, my mother passed away. At the age of seven, my father remarried. I have never addressed my stepmother as “mother.” She has always been kind and respectful towards me, never neglecting or mistreating me. She has fulfilled her responsibilities properly. However, she has never embraced me with the affection and love of a mother. I have never held this against her, as I also never fully accepted her as “mother.” I have always maintained a distance from her and have not allowed her to interfere much in my personal matters.
Now, at this stage of life, I deeply feel the absence of a mother. When I see my friends enjoying beautiful relationships with their mothers, I too wish to call someone “Ammu” (mother). For some time, I have been considering starting to address my stepmother as “Ammu.” Perhaps this would encourage her to see me more as her own child, and I could also have a maternal figure in my life.

However, there are two problems. Firstly, I feel embarrassed to start doing this, especially as I am unsure how my father would react. Secondly, my maternal relatives—particularly my grandfather and aunt—might feel hurt. They have always supported and loved me unconditionally, and I do not want to hurt their feelings.

What should I do in this situation? How can I overcome my embarrassment and start addressing her as “Ammu” without upsetting my maternal relatives? I cannot discuss this with them, as I know they would not approve. Talking to my father about this matter also seems pointless. I am seeking your valuable opinions and advice.

perhaps call it to her when only she can hear

it could be like a very special thing between you two

Maybe find out how she responds. It’s worth knowing rather than being silent. As for your relatives, that’s difficult to suggest, but I’m confused that they don’t let you call your stepmother “Ammu”. Is this a cultural thing in your country? I assume you’re not from the US, but I could be wrong.

1 Heart

Asking is almost certainly the right way to go about this. Check with your grandfather and aunt - and why not your father? If they are all OK with it, ask your stepmom. It may help to admit to everyone (individually) up front that you feel rather embarrassed. Unless you are aware of any explosive issues that this might trigger, I think you should talk to the people involved. My 2¢ worth.