How do I deal with this? I want to make it work but sometime

How do I deal with this? I want to make it work but sometimes it feels extremely difficult I can barely look at my husband. It's only been 1 month and 2 weeks since He told me but it feels so fresh still.

1 Heart

I am in a similar situation, maybe you can just try to relax and think about other things that make you happy about him and the two of you. Also work on forgiving both people that were in the wrong,trust me it is almost impossible but it is so worth it. Feelings of resentment can only bring you down further.

1 Heart

@adaisysneverglum how long has it been with you? I’m learning to forgive my husband. I love him so so so much and I’m so in love which is why this hurts so much because I haven’t lost even an ounce of love for him and I feel like I should’ve.

I was told by my therapist that it usually takes about eight weeks for the disequilibrium to settle, however there is no set time frame and everybody heals at different rates. So just keep that in mind. It may happen sooner for you, our perhaps longer.

@Betrayedbymylove it’s weird because I’ll feel good one day and then something happen or an image of them two comes to mind and I’m back a week. It really sucks but I want this to work.

I was told by our marriage counselor it takes a 1 yr to get over it. Not sure if I believe that. I still have anxiety and fear that he's still cheating. It's only been a month for me, and I still find myself stalking the OW Facebook page just to see if their still in contact. I try really hard not to check his cell phones, but sometimes I can't help it. It's been very hard for me to even wear my wedding ring bc to me it has a different meaning. Just a reminder of the old me, the trust and devotion between us that I thought was there. Any of you guys decided on taking medication for these roller coaster of emotions your going through?

1 Heart

@JiltedJane I know what u mean. I gave my husband my ring back and told him I’m don’t want to wear it because it’s not the same. I’m no longer his last and it devastates me to think that. Once everything seems ok or good or however God wants us to be then we will renew our vows. But honestly it’s so hard to not wear my ring because I’ve never taken it off in the 8 years. I haven’t taken any medication, I use the bible to help me when my emotions are wicked strong.

Sometimes you just have to take one day at a time and it's all you can do to get through it. Take care of yourself and don't over do it.

1 Heart

@skhc yeah I’m in counseling but it’s been 3 weeks because of the holiday but I speak to my pastor too. It helps but still his face, when I look at it :frowning:

@Jdimples005 if you go looking for pain you will probably find it. Is your husband remorseful? Do you believe it? He should write an email/instant message or what ever means they were communicating that clearly cuts it off. You should be a part of this and read it before its sent. Have him cut her off, then you do it too. You have to let it go. I don't know if you are ready (you husband has a big part in this) but eventually in order to make it you will have to let go of the fear. Fear, true fear, is a savage frenzy. of all the insanities of which we are capable, it is surely the most cruel. Don't torture yourself looking up her life. live your own. I hope you find peace and calm.

1 Heart

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