my name is becky ive never done anything like this before i joined the divorce group the depression group and now this group they all tie in together with what i got going on 1 month ago i was asked to move out and asked for a divorce after 8 years my daughters and i moved out and are now on our own scary as hell in the last week as im trying to move on my soon to be ex has told me he has gone out on a few dates since we have been apart my god were not even divorced yet i constantly find myself wondering what hes doing and with who can someone please help and tell me how to get thru this because its eating me up i cant imagine someone else with him and its driving me nuts any suggestions
It is very understandable that you are scared, hurt and confused. Also it is very unpleasant situation, not just for you, but for the children too.When the person moves on with their life without giving the proper respect toward their family, that is unacceptable and it is very selfish. We all are free to leave, but we should have respect and consideration for the family. Well, he will answer for the consequences. At this time, let it be. Concentrate on the girls, they need you more that ever. If any member of your family or friend can be there for you, it will make your life easier. Please, have faith and only with time you will feel stronger and happier. Say a prayer when you can and God will guide you through this difficult time. You are in my prayers and God bless you.
That kind of rejection really hurts. Not only are you going through this for yourself, but also your children.
This is one of those major life changes. You didn't ask for it, but here it is, and it hurts. As far as him dating or being with someone else, I think that even looking in that direction right now is going to be painful for you. You said that you moved out. When you can, and each step is so hard take steps to make your new place home for your girls, making things for the walls, etc... you can do this.
Life is funny. Sometimes we know what we want. We are sure of it. Our family, our friends. But sometimes the universe has other things in mind for us that are even better. It is so hard to have faith when things look this dark and it hurts this bad, but have faith in yourself.
I have faith in you.
thank you so much your words “i have faith in you” really touched me ive never had someone say that to me before this site has been wonderful in having support and people to open up to when you have no one else thank you so much
Becky21, I've been where you are and happen to be in the middle of a very hard breakup (though we weren't married) right now. It's hard, it consumes you, it makes you feel sick. Just know that Need2Believe was right when saying that sometimes the universe has other plans for us and although what you're feeling right now seems like it will never end, it will, and when it does you'll see that this had to end because better things were in your future. I promise, you will heal, but it will take time. You are off to a good start by seeking help with this support group. The best thing you can do is surround yourself with people that care about you. You will have bad days and worse days, but one day you'll realize that you feel ok and it doesn't hurt as much. I know it's difficult to do, but don't ask your ex what he's doing and don't ask friends or family if they know what he's doing. Until you are in a better place of your own for you and your children, there is nothing that you will gain by knowing and you'll only end up hurting more. You CAN get through this!! Keep your head up, stay strong, and lean on your loved ones!
thank you so much for your kind words they really mean a lot this site has been very helpful on days that im feeling my lowest im taking it day by day as painful as it is and i am hoping that one day it will be easier
i swear i thought it would start to get easier with time and its not i know it hasnt been long since weve been seperated but i just find myself falling further and further back i hate getting up and going to work and putting on the "happy" face and act like im doing fine when deep inside im dying in 2 months ive cried every night just when i think i can do this something comes along and i go right back to feeling bad again my ex has moved on so easily and i guess thats whats killing me after 8 years of marriage 2 weeks after we seperated hes dating and this weekend took her away for the weekend how am i suppose to deal with that i just feel so broken and lost and feel like i will never be able to trust a man again nor do i want to i never want to go thru this pain again i just dont know what to do anymore i pray i write in a journal i post on here what am i not doing to help me get thru this any suggestions ill take them please im desperate
I can tell that you are feeling really desperate. Sometimes when we are alone with our thoughts those hurts and memories stick to us like glue. Maybe it would help you, as well as others if you forced yourself to do a little volunteer work. Sometimes we may feel that we have nothing to give, but we do and the wonderful thing about it is that it helps us heal too. I know it is hard. You have been putting one foot in front of the other, and sometimes that is all that we can manage. You have been through a lot. Write down something positive about yourself everyday and put it next to your mirror or coffeepot or computer, etc... someplace where you will be reminded often that you are special. You are stronger than you realize, and when you discover all of your strength, you are going to really be impressed!