For the past two years I've been struggling with bulimia. I didn't even know that these issues were considered an eating disorder until a few months ago. When I purge I use laxatives. I've never made myself throw up after a binge, and being mis informed, I was under the assumption that this didnt count as bulimia. A year ago I was taking the laxatives 3 times a week. I've cut back alot within the past 6 months. I sometimes go a week without taking them. Normally I do it once a week. Although I recognize that its a positive step for me to cut back and try to eliminate the use of laxatives, I still binge eat and over exercise to try to compensate. I've gained 15 pounds by doing this. I'm 5'7 140 lbs currently. I used to weight 125 lbs. Its discouraging trying to fight the urge to purge when as a result I'm gaining weight. Does anyone have any tips on how to prevent the binges? I usually have two 'good days' followed by one or two bad days where I binge and possibly take laxatives. I also want to point out that this cycle has prevented me from making friends at college. The constant need to hide my eating habits made it hard for me to connect and reach other while I've been away at school. This feeds into my loneliness which only makes the binges worse. I am just sick of sitting home on the weekends hiding my binges from my roommate and refusing to socialize. I wish I could just have normal eating habits. When I'm not binging, I am constantly planning and thinking about food. I can't even focus on eating the right way because it consumes my mind. Food is all I think about and I want so badly to get rid of this. I just wish I only though about food when I was hungry and stopped this awful cycle. I know that I'm starting to go in the right direction but I am afraid I need more help then I can do for myself but I am too embarrassed to tell my family about this.
I have issues with things like that too... It's a hard thing to get through. I binge and purge... It honestly just sucks. If you want to talk, feel free to message me. I need help too... Maybe talking would help? I don't know, but we can't try...
There are many ways to prevent a binge but the most important step you have already taken, and that is you have recognized and acknowledged that you have a problem and that you want to take responsibility for getting better.
One of the biggest issues we binge eaters have is that we are passive about taking control of food and we let it run our lives. If you don't control food it will control you. So good for you for taking responsibility!
So some tips: Get treatment and/or support. If you can't afford therapy go to Overeaters Anonymous and do everything they tell you to do. If you are serious you will act on this. They advise going to 90 meetings in 90 days. For some people this has worked miracles.
Another tip: stop eating anything that comes in a wrapper. This will limit you to real food. that is: fruits veggies meat. If it is in a wrapper it is highly processed and therefore not REAL FOOD. Believe me you will not want to binge on veggies or fruit for very long. Fake, highly processed food is addictive and that is what is making you binge. It is a drug! The more you eat something, the more you want it. The less you eat something the less you want it.
Best to detox first too. Your liver is probably very toxic and needs a rest. Google liver detoxing and educate yourself about healing your liver. Have you ever had acupuncture? Most acupuncturists are also herbalists and can prescribe gentle herbal laxatives that won't be so hard on your body. It would be great if you could go to an Acupuncturist and get dietary counseling regarding how to heal from the laxative use. You are wrecking your intestinal flora and should be taking tons of probiotics right now to restore them. If you don't about these things let me know and I can steer you toward them.
Another reason we binge is that we do not like how we feel. If you are isolating yourself and are lonely that is only compounding your original anguish. You need to reach out to someone (which you have done here good for you!) but also in your life, if you cannot find a friend to confide in, then turn to your Creator and pour out your heart in prayer.
You have got to connect with someone! Sounds like you may be disconnected, spiritually starved and/or in need of tons of LOVE and COMPASSION. I hope you know that you are so very loved and cherished and that you are so deserving of that love simply because you are here and you are a beautiful child of God.
I am sure your family members love you dearly. I understand that you feel embarrassed, but actually, there are much worse addictions you could be participating in, and developing an eating disorder due to leaving home/college stress is pretty common. I bet your Mother would understand, if you have the kind of relationship with her that would allow you to tell her. Imagine the relief you would feel to tell her and if she is a good person she would support you and be so glad you confided in her. ( Or your father/sibling....just anyone who loves you)
Another way to prevent a binge is to really know what gets you excited and passionate in life and to go do that instead! What gets your MOJO working?
What fulfills you, what are you good at? What do you love? You need the pleasure those things bring you instead of the pseudo fake pleasure of too much food.
Here are a couple of great websites: drberg.com and thepowertostop.com
Check those out. Much love to you dear precious one. You are not alone!
thanks for the advice, it is really helpful!