How do you get out of an abusive relationship when the person threatens to harm you? I have been when this man for 6 yrs and he verbally and physically abusive, i feel trapped, there are no shelters in my area they are all full. I have 3 kids also. I have no where to turn, no where to go.
Hi, My name is Suzee and I left my abusive husband in January. In our shelter, if it was full, they put us up in hotels. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Are you in the US? Is your abuser the biological parent of the 3 children? Your shelter should have at least avised you on a safety plan and a way to get out. There are national hotline numbers and I'm going to go find them now and post them. I"ll be right back.
Suzee
Ok the National Domestic Abuse hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Also go to their website for great information. Remember that if you are online and your abuser or an unsafe person may see you on that website, there is a red button on the right hand side of that website that you can click and you will leave the site instantly onto google so that the abuser won't see you were there. It's a wonderful site with great information. Please call that number and tell them what you've come up against with the shelters and they will find a way to get you help!!
I am so sorry for what you are going through, but I am very glad you came here today. There are many of us here, who are going through the same thing. You are NOT alone. I dont' know how much time you have to be here or how hard it is to get online but please call that hotline number. The shelter I had, gave me a private "hope-phone" that he didn't know about and couldn't track.
Again, you are NOT alone. There are many just like us here and they are angels, absolute angels. We all want to help so please ask any questions or tell us anything. Also, if your abuser is computer savvy, he may be able to follow you to this site. If you believe he can/will do that, please contact me in private messsage at the top left hand area you can send private messages. There are others too, that you can trust to message and their names are anonymousgirl, Starting over, tedebear, Eventually sunshine... and others, but I want to get this message to you ASAP.
Sending big welcoming hugs, Suzee
Suzee,
Thank you, no he is not my kids father, they told me to just call the police, but all they do is come out and take a statement, he has sliced a tire on my car so that I can't go anywhere, I'm scared, I don't know what he will do. I'm am in the us, in mo
Hey ladies can I join in this conversation
hi hun My soon to be ex was my verbal and emotional abuser you might also call 211 on your phone it can give you resources in your local area
Suzee is right if you are in danger the shelter can put you in a motel under a different name so that he can not call and find you I just went to my local Abused and Battered women's group shelter yesterday and tho they would put me up I also have a 15 yr old son and they really do not want him there if they can help it.
The cps in your local area will also have resources to assist you as well. These ladies have been a god send to me they have given me strength when I felt I had none. they let me know that despite what my ex had told me for years I am not alone and that people will help me He has called me every names a woman can be called and then some he has had me grovel at his feet thanking him for all he has done for me right in front of our two children I stayed with him because he swore he wouldn't support us if I wasn't with him. and I didn't want my kids to suffer because I couldn't take care of them so I stayed I figured whatever price I paid would be worth knowing they were taken care of now after 23 yrs of abuse and isolation and his drunken abuse I am 42 and my children are 19 &15 my ex is fighting me for our youngest not because he wants him he wants to give custody to our 19 yr old making her mom when she should be starting her life. I married him when I was 19 so for over half my life I took his crud yes I am scared that maybe he was right all these years but I know that I am ready to find me again
Suzee,
Thank you very much!
You sure can miss teddy bear!! We need to get a plan together for our new member and her children!!!
Hugs, Suzee
I think she should call the police about that tire then go to the courthouse file for a PO if she can get to the courthouse and let them know there was threats made to her safety they will remove him and give her at least a 14 day po if he violates it then he will go to jail then she has a record of his abuse that can not be ignored
Oh and Hun please do not let my nickname fool you I am a woman I've had some people here think because it's in a form of a name that I am a male but if you sound it out it sounds like and means TEDDY BEAR it's just the way i thought people were calling my teddy bear as a child so now I use it as my nickname
Tedebear,
Thanks you for sharing that with me, I am sorry that we all have or had to be victims of these so called men. My story started when I was 6, my siblings and I were taken away from our mom by the state of mo, she is an acholohic. I was sexually abused by my grandfather from 6 to 11. 8 stared having sex when I was 12, because I thought that's all I had to offer a boy/man. My father was in and out of jail most of life. I've been in different relationship trying to find something that I never had for myself; LOVE, my self esteem is destroyed and I accept anything for the sake of love. Even the 2 daddies of my children, they walked all over me. I pray I ask God what did I do to deserve all this crap. I lost the only brother I had at 12. The one person who I felt really loved me was my greatgrand mother, and she gone on to a better place. I am deeply troubled iin my heart and mind. I have been through hell, how can I get back.
I am soooo sorry to read about this. Its always sad and hard to read of abusive women, children, animals - you name it!
Please know you came to the right place and the other 2 girls here are so right!!
I will start a prayer chain for you. God be with you and bless you and your children!
Keep your fears here - we will help you with them!
Also do a history check on your computer and delete this website so he cannot read or know you were even here! That will help too. Don't forget to log out of this site when you end, or if he finds it he can just click on it and will be logged in as you already.
May The Lord protect you and Mother Mary hold you
Ave Maria ~
Jeanna
Hun my own story starts when I was 5 yrs old my older brothers would beat me up daily and my father punishment was beating me with his belt the last time I was 15 and the last time my brother laid a hand on me i was 21
First hun do not go backwards you didn't have much success notice what hasn't worked in the past and look for the opposite tho it will seem wrong at first but that is when you know its working in the right direction because like me your normal is when you are being hurt or mistreated we don't know what it is like to be treated like we are priceless but wouldn't it be nice to find that for a change
3d, you have really been kicked around and it's just so terrible what happens to our women and children in this country, it really is!!! My **** is a pretty big ***! He would routinely attack me for hours... and I mean 6, 7, 8 and even 9 hours. I would have to beg to use the bathroom or go to bed. He almost got me to commit suicide from feeling so worthless. I'm so glad I left, even though it's really hard. But it's important to get out. We don't all survive and the chance of that happening is greatest when we first leave and that's why you need help, support and a plan to get safe.
Have you called the police in the past? Have you reported the abuse? ANY physical abuse is a arrestable offense. So many times I should have called the police but I was so scared and a part of me thought maybe if I was a better wife or better cook etc.. maybe THEN he wouldn't be so angry anymore... But it's not US that are the problem. I hated to hear that other's knew exactly what I had been through because they had been through it too, but it was such a relief that others knew exactly what I meant. I wasn't so alone anymore. from support, comes courage... from knowledge, comes safety.
I agree with teddy, I think you should call the police about the him slicing your tire to make sure you cant leave!!! I really do!!
Sending hugs, Suzee
eva
I too have a story of abuse emotional sexual physical financially........just what teddy says our normal is being mistreated.
i was given silent treatment for week at a time...he controlled everything was abusive to the family pet( he was punched and kicked in front of me and the kids and we had to listen to his cries.
he never had to lay a finger on me to put fear in me. my very own husband raped me .
I agree with all my friends here trust what they say ..call the police report the slashed tires tell them you fear for your safety. i would even go as far as to see if an officer will take you to the nearest womans shelter. how far away is the nearest one to you?
Ask the police how you can get to a shelter and stress your fears of this man.
Love and HUGS
AG ♥
My moto right now 3d is every journey begins with just one step and yours and your kids freedom is just one step away
I just wanted to add when i finally confronted my ex on the abuse he tried getting into my -e-mail he new of this site and he blocked me from my support here. He was ordered to stay off the site and felt he was above the law he had disguised himself on here till I figured him out..then he went as far as to have a friend snoop on here for him.
i have made good friends here so know when i say you can TRUST them Love AG♥
AWWW thank you AG I feel the very same way about you too.
3d,
I was wondering I saw you said you were in MO I was born and raised just outside NKC MO is that close to you?
also you said your local shelter was full but if you call over to the next counties they are likely to have room for you as well as your kids. It is very very rare that any shelter would not find a place for you and your children if there is immediate danger to your safety if they do not have room for you they have safe places for you or motel rooms some even have hotels that will put your family up all you have to do is be willing to go. Do you have friends or family that can get you to them?