When starting a new relationship, how do you get over past insecurities and hurt? How do you not bring any old baggage into a new relationship and how do you start afresh?
I'd love some advice on how to do so because I am really having a hard time with my insecurities and doubts from past experiences and I feel like it can sabotage a new relationship.
Thanks so much!
Condition yourself, work w/yourself, trust in yourself w/what you've experienced & learned about YOU & others around you, trust your instincts. With time & wisdom all these questions within yourself or about others will fade.
When starting a new relationship, how do you get over past insecurities and hurt?
Slowly. Day by day rebulding yourself.
How do you not bring any old baggage into a new relationship?
You don't. I was just talking today to someone about relationships and baggage. Everyone has baggage. And it is forever with you.
Hopefully you end up with someone who can help you manage it better. That's what my boyfriend did with me.
If I had a nickle for everytime he has ever said to me, "I'm not your ex." I could have paid off the national debt 3 times over already.
Be open and honest about you baggage. Tell him that you still struggle with it and see what support or advice he offers or if he says he doesn't want to hear it.
Just don't try to sweep it under the rug though. Have you ever seen anyone successfully hide a full suitcase under a carpet? It just doesn't work that way.
Talk to him about it. No sense in hiding who you are.
April, thank you for your wonderful insight. You're so right, it is all about conditioning myself to not have these insecurities.
Beautiful, I love the way you broke it down for me and also share your own experience. Thank you for that. And, is that your sweet baby in your profile picture? You two look so so peaceful together, she is so precious, so gorgeous and such a blessing. Your picture brought a big smile to my face and honestly gives me so much hope for my dream of having a family.
Thank you - no it’s my niece. She has just turned my whole world around. I can’t have children and she is special to me. Her mom included me in just about everything with this baby except conception…that would have been disturbing! LOL!
If you don't want to bring any old baggage/insecurities to a new relationship, then I would think you would have to take time to work through them before thinking about having a relationship. If you take time to work through them, then you won't be bringing any old baggage/insecurities to the relationship. If something does pop up after you start the relationship, then address it.
Beautiful, you made me laugh out loud re; conception. You are too funny, thank you for that. Your niece is gorgeous and what a blessing to have her in your life, what a gift.
Thanks so much Bluidkiti, that's great advice. I feel that early stages of dating and relationships really make me feel so vulnerable and therefore uncomfortable, since I am not used to feeling this way. It's nothing that he does or says, it's literally just me. I need to work on feeling more secure and allow someone into my life. I need to understand that it's healthy to do so. Its been sooooo long for me since my last real relationship, so this is feeling a bit odd at the moment. Business is so so much easier for me.