How do you handle this?

My kids are constantly fighting, hitting each other, screaming at each others, and I'm getting emotionally and physically worn out. How do I handle this? ANyone else go through this? I'm so exhausted from it.... Any ideas, suggestions??? Thanks!

i,m sorry your having such a hard time hun. how old are your children and what have you tried so far? no perfect parent here but i'd be happy to share my experience.

I have a 3 year old girl (almost 4) and a 2 year old boy...

I've tried everything that people have suggested: from spanks, time-outs, etc. I'm worn out. I don't like the spanks, but the time-outs seem to work at times, but than I'm doing them constant!

What do you do? Please share ideas, stories, suggestions, anything... I'm exhausted!! :(

oh hun i hear ya and feel your frustration. general rule that worked for me, set the rule (whatever that is) and DO NOT back down. duel of the wills…if time out gets some degree of sanity lol, keep doing it. i know it seems easier to give up. indeed my dear it would be a great disservice to your family unit. your the parent! our children will push and push, they can be defiant little sots (but we love them) if we let them run the show at 2 & 4 imagine what it will be like as they get older. so use what works hun do it over and over and over…try hun to be as calm as you can…they see they don’t get a rise out of you and know you mean business, it worked for me…mom of 2 now 32 and 23
keep us posted hun you CAN do this…

Gosh, I want to cry. I feel at times I'm a bad parents. ANyone feel this way ?

Thank you so much for the advice. Realized too, that they are getting into EVERYTHING and that has worn me out. By the time I get one thing done (cleaned or whatever) I turn around and they are into more stuff. Now I'm working on "You are cleaning this up, and mommy will help you." and other times, I just give up on trying and let it be... plus, I've been dealing with my depression and eating disorder, so that hasn't helped at all :( working on seeing someone about that. Just waiting for that appointment to get here... Hope you're well and thank you :)

oh honey i’m so sorry. did’nt know you were dealing with not 1 but 2 illnesses. how overwhelming for you. i know my illness can be all consuming. hard to see past it. plus we see the world thru our illness and not as it really is. i’m happy to hear your seeking help for them. can’t come soon enough i know that feeling. no quick fixes unfortunately. even baby steps in the right direction need to be celebrated. your in my prayers hun.

Hey colorfulgirl, if you can start getting the kids on a more scheduled environment w/things that they can do alone & be independent then in time this will work in your favor to gain more enjoyment for yourself & w/them as a family. You can try a reward system if they can pick up their clothes or take out the trash (age appropriate jobs), the reward can be something free that they like to do, go to the park, color in coloring book, an easy game thats not too time consuming, do this over & over again until they are capable of doing things by themselves so you can begin your next goal & too will start feeling better about the next generation your raising. Keep talking girl, I'm listening & this can be done but it take time.

April
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I agree, structure and routine are so important. Rewards are good too, but make sure they earn it and that it is something special and out of the ordinary i.e. if a trip to the park is part of the routine anyway then it's not a reward, however if you visit a NEW park or add a couple of dunkin munchkins, then it is a reward.
What about you? Are you able to get time for you, a night out with the girls, a book club, a simple trip to the nail salon? Don't forget YOU. You deserve it and need it!!!
Take care.

Thank you all for all the wonderful advice. I'll try that. :) I'll keep you all updated. My husband and I have a date night tonight so we got our babysitter to come over to watch our son - our daughter is staying the night at grandma's :) So, we'll have some time to relax and grow more together as a family :) So happy for that. Plus, my husband takes over at times so I can relax and get some time for me, which helps :) Makes it better when I come home and missed the kids so much that I feel better on taking better care of them. Staying home with them all the time, I enjoy doing :) Thank you everyone for all the wonderful advice :)

have a great time hun. looking forward to your update

:) Thank you :) starting to feel sick, so trying to knock this out....

Hey hun,
I am not a mum so I can't really dish out the mum advice. Whatever you feel works best for your family, and just remember that being a mum is a really really tough job, you are trying to rare these tiny people to become strong, competent adults, so do give yourself a break sometimes.

Thinking of you hun
Moongal x

:) Thanks moongal :) How are you doing? Miss talking to you :)

To be honest I've been really depressed these last few days, finding it really hard to just get out of bed. I don't know how you cope with the kids too, or maybe it's the opposite and when you're feeling hopeless they keep you going.

But sweetie kids are hard work, but they are so so so worth every second of it.

How are you feeling?

I’m so sorry you’re feeling depressed HUGS I hope you feel better :slight_smile: I don’t like getting out of bed either in the morning, but push myself for the kids. It is amazing what kids do, even when we’re down, depressed, crying, etc… Even when I cry, they come up to me and hug me and help me to feel better :slight_smile: They are worth every second, yes :slight_smile: Amazing what they do, do :slight_smile: Even when they don’t know what’s going on :slight_smile:

I could be better… Been depression and battling my eating disorder still. Had a talk with my mom over the weekend. More concerns over my weight loss. I’m just waiting for that appointment on the 23rd… still waiting… and still finding everything I can to lose more weight :frowning:

Hope you’re doing well.

I know how you feel. I'm a single mother of two little boys, ages 3 adn 4, and sometimes I feel like I'm going insane. Sometimes I lose my temper. The biggest thing I am realizing is that they are bored. When they are bored, they start to act up. They fight, they give me attitude. I find that time out works the best, as long as it is consistant. Give them one warning, them time out. Set a timer and make them stay til it is done. Then explain to them why, and give them a hug. What works well for mine is a positive reinforcement. I put papers up on the wall with each of their names. When they do something good, like clean up their room, or be good boys, they get a sticker on it. When they get to 10, they get something special. If they are naughty, I take one down. Might be worth a try...hope it helps!

I think the sticker thing is good :slight_smile: Thank you! I need to get a timer, too :slight_smile: I am working on getting them out, hard when I’m depressed though and at times don’t want to go anywhere, but I do feel better when I do get out for awhile. I guess I like talking to someone ( adult) but when I’m out, I just crave talking to others. Just something, i got to work on, I guess. Trying to find ways to improve around here. Just got the carpet cleaner from my mom’s (borrowing hers) and about to spring clean, everything :)So happy about that. Thank you for sharing this with me :slight_smile:

I've been through it too. My boys are grown now. It seemed that (1) they wanted my attention (2) they were bored. It did help when they got into school but it would be a problem on non-school days. Punishing them did not work at all! One thing that did help somewhat was to require them to apologize to the other for their behavior -- not just, "I'm sorry." -- but, "I'm sorry for....." One big problem was that the particular child didn't really understand the root of the disagreement - didn't know that they contributed. It was difficult. I wish I lived closer to you. I'd love to give you a break. You need it.

Thank you :slight_smile: I know they are getting bored. It’s kinda funny when I try to get them out of the apartment and my daughter who is 3 turns to me and tells me, “Momma, I want to stay home. I don’t want to go anywhere.” But than again, I feel sad. Just hoping she’s okay (emotionally). I know when I’m depressed, I don’t want to go anywhere, but when I do, I do feel better. I’ll work on that tomorrow is getting them time outside at the playground. :slight_smile: