How do you regain a voice in your relationship, after you we

How do you regain a voice in your relationship, after you were the one who messed up?

You can regain your voice by being there and letting the person know you are here to be a better person. Ask what they need, then do it. Ask that person for things you need as well not because you are selfish, but because it will make you feel close and important to them.

You let the other person have a voice first. You recognize that you are the one who put yourself in this position, and you deal with the consequences. Humbly, apologetically, repeatedly. As one who was betrayed, I know that the times when I feel this from my husband are the times I loosen up a bit and give hear his voice. And the more he does it, the more I am comfortable with us being on equal ground. When he doesn't recognize my need and right to have my voice first, all hell breaks loose. It is a form of invalidating. We are a little past a year of d-day, and sometimes it still feels like just last month. Healing comes in waves, I'm finding. But the more open and humble he is, the easier it is for me to forgive and for us to move forward.

Also, you can ask for things you need. That kind of communication should always be open.

I agree with both posts. Yes let his voice be heard, but make sure he lets you have your voice heard as well, and about giving what he needs, yes that's good, if he returns that favor, and also if gee doesn't become abusive with it

Your actions must follow your words. If you say it, do it. Be accountable and the consistency will speak for itself.

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Bombadrya, everyone on the planet messes up. Everyone has flaws and shortcomings. The key is have we learned from our mistakes and if we have then new awareness and growth takes place. You should not lose your voice because you messed up. The mere fact that you acknowledge you messed up is far more then many do. Some people never even admit wrong doing even when they are clearly guilty. Your mistake shouldn't be used to lessen you and if someone is trying to make you believe you have to be kept feeling bad about it then that person needs to evaluate thier own motives. "People that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."