How do you tell your signif other about your ED without them freaking out and leaving?

Mental Health Eating Disorders & Body Dysmorphia
1

Hi gang,

So I've been bulimic for yearssssssss (through 1 marriage, divorce, and 2 kids).. I am raising my 2 kids and have a signif other of 4 1/2 years so i love deeply.

His image of me is is Madame Health Queen/Fitness guru, organic, exercising, watching her diet person.. always reading, discussing, and talking about healthy foods, fitness, etc. and has NO clue about me b/p.

There have been some close calls but somehow I've always talked my way out of them and since we don't live together its pretty easy to hide. The only thing he might notice is me obsessing over menus, being upset when my food isn't "just right" and my work outs..

I KNOW I need to tell him about my ED. I promised my former therapist that i would tell him by the end of the year... I needed practically a full year to build up my courage.

I know that if the roles were reversed and he told me about he PEVERSE way he b/p HUGE amounts of food to the point where his stomach is STUFFED and then vomits all over making a complete mess of the restroom and damaging his body ... wasting money, etc. that I personally would be SO DISGUSTED and probably leave him thinking he is a basketcase.

I know he hasn't been exposed to anything like this before...

Can you pleaseeeeeeeeeee give me some hints on how to break the news to him. I want to be honest and tell him the WHOLE truth of how really AWFUL it really is.

Caroline

2

just me...no perverse, no disgusting hun, you have an illness. perhaps a pamplet explaining your illness could be given to him .......let him read it then let him take the lead after you say this is me or i have this illness? others may have better options for you to pick from.

3

hi kathy,

thank you for your response... i'm in houston too. are you attending any support groups in the area? or are you seeing a therapist by any chance?

thanks,
caroline

4

hey caroline, what part of houston hun…i’m in the northwest part near beltway 8 and 249. i’m house bound right now due to my chronic pain so the only time i get out the door is for dr visits only. my wonderful therapist i’ve also not seen in a few months but am in contact via email and the phone if needed. how but you hun, any support groups your attending that you find helpful?

5

hi kathy... i'm in the pearland/alvin area..

i went to a couple of support sessions in town and they were mostly of reallllllllly young girls who were anorexic.. i didn't feel comfortable b/c each time i tried to say something the leader said i would trigger someone. i understand the concept but thought she went over board...

i didn't find it helpful. i may try some OA mtg though b/c there appear to be a lot of them.

thx! and best of luck 2 u.

6

i hope you can find something that fits…meetings are a great support if you can find the right one or ones. great folks. if you ever need to yap i’m here ya’ll hehe i’m not from houston we are originally from massachusetts been here 20 yrs now but i still kid people about the ya’ll being texas talk ya know. have a good one hun