How is everyone? I feel like I ran out of strength. I'm job

How is everyone? I feel like I ran out of strength. I'm jobless and depressed. It's hard to continue. On top of that my dad and my brother are torturing me emotionally. I wish it either end or change fast.

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Spark, trust me, I know the feeling. I feel weak as a kitten most of the time and I'm a "big strong man" if you catch my meaning. It's not you, it's THEM. People that have been abused or are being abused find it hard to continue, but trust me, tomorrow is a new day. The best thing you can do is distance yourself from the abusers (if possible) and keep talking to people on sites like this. It helps it really does.

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@RobHouston it’s not possible as I’m living in the same house with my parents and not possible to move out. But yeah abuse and depression doesn’t care its a fragile or strong it can beirng you to your knees and make you beg God to end your life because you’re so tired of this cruel world. How are you tho

Summer is coming and maybe some different jobs would become available? Even part time is a start. If you hate it - quit. Keep looking for something that will spart a little interest in you and keep you away from home as much as poss. My father was an emotional wreck and used to scream away at me. I found out that MUSIC was a great diversion and healer to my wounded soul. I know this is hard but ppl who project abuse to others are doing it because of their OWN insecurities. They use the act of hassling you to take them away from their OWN problems -now they can focus on YOU instead. Denial! Stay strong and know that ppl are listening to you here and you can always vent here. I am jobless at the moment and kinda scared to go out into the market after 5 long retail yrs. I don't have schooling for degrees or training but I have some marketable SKILLS. Do an inventory. What are you drawn to? Do you like food/ cooking or animals? Do anything that will help you focus on changing your circumstances. You sound smart. Make a plan. Research options. If you don't have a computer go to a library -they are free to use. Don't despair- fight back with knowledge!

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@Littlesis7 I love listening to the music too. I can play a song that is my favorite for hundreds of time in a day and make everyone sick of it. Sorry that your’re jobless too. I hope we both can find what we are looking for. There is not a day that I dont check the online job ads sites.

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@Daito All I can do is try to avoid them. There is nothing else I can do.

I appreciate all the answers but why no one is saying how they are? This supposed to be a communicating post.

Hi @spark_girl, thanks for asking. I’m struggling. I’m also unemployed and depressed from it. There are no jobs available in my field. I have few friends and am very isolated. I’m trying to focus on being grateful to feel better but it’s not working real well. Running out of strength is a good way to word it. I think that describes me too.

Maybe you could get a job in the national guard or army

I am also unemployed and have been for about 5 years. People alsways say "what do you like? What are you drawn too?" But I dont know I dont think I know myself well enough to know. Real pleasure is tok distressing, any sense of self separate from her is dangerous and risky. Plus I was a bit of a child star/prodigy even though the attention then didnt feel good loving it felt better than the abuse. So nkw everything I could possibly do will always be a let down - I'll never again be as unique and superficially interesting as I was as a child. But this is something I can work through and have made progress on. But niw my roommate is suggesting I consider volunteering. Its feels like im not healing fast enough for her. I guess she cant see that I am struggling and moving forward a little bit every day. But it triggers my own fears - my money wont last forever and what if I never get better? But im trying to just ignore that and look for comfort and support like in this group and feeling not so alone or crazy or wanting to censore myself for acceptance.
Maybe someone needs to start a twelve step programn for survivors of emotional abuse/covert incest because I do think the affects are different from physical abuse - NOT less, just different and different abuse needs different healing.
Btw - does everyone identify as survior od emotional abuse or do you use the term jncest too?
Thanks for listening. My heart is with you all. Its nit an easy or a fast road. Silence avails us nothing. Maybe by sharing our experience strength hope and knowledge we can take one small step forward each day. Blessings to you all. Thank you for sharing with me too.

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@Justmetoo I dont know what I like anymore. Ive given up on my dreams since long. I cant have new wishes anymore. Im too disappointed. Right now just trying to survive. I just know the first step is to get a job and once I have it I can feel a bit better and make up my mind and start to plan for other things. Im sorry your unemployment. Hope you get a job soon. I check online job ads sites everyday. Sometimes several times a day.

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I lived with a psychopath mother who felt her job was to take me down via physical, emotional and verbal abuse. I recommend education of both the abuser's tactics and how the abuse affects you emotionally and neurologically. There is a lot of good info on the web. You deserve to be happy and that isn't going to happen living with them. Create a plan and follow it. I did. It took nearly a decade, but I worked a lot of hours while a teen. It got me out of the house and the money was banked for the future escape. I was limited in where I was allowed to go for college versus my siblings, but against my mother's wishes got a job while I was a full-time student. When I graduated, no one cared or came to the ceremony (even me). I had a full-time job and took a second so that I could stay in the town and not go home. I also read a lot of psychology and self-help books so I could understand all that I needed to work on. I later found created a plan to go to graduate school and did that. Don't give up on yourself. A plan of escape will give you back your power. Was it all perfect, no. I encountered more abuse in those early years on my own and I had major issues just a few years ago after my younger sister's suicide. My mother replaced me with her and she didn't fight, she stayed with my mother and it destroyed her. And my mother was NEVER held accountable. She made up lies about me right up until the end when I had to be the one who asked the doctors to remove her from life support after a major stroke made her a vegetable. She told me and her doctor that she didn't trust anyone else to respect her wishes and was afraid they'd (my other siblings who were her minions) keep her artificially alive. So, do the hard work, don't say no to yourself. You already have people in your life telling you what you can't do. It is not easy, but you so deserve it. You deserve your own life and to experience joy.

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@Beenthere001 There are days that I can go through and tolerate.But some days I really really cant. I become completely messed up and suicidal. It just hits me hard sometimes. And its happening a lot lately. You are right need an escape plan. In my case its my father who is abusive. Thanks for your comment and advice.

Hey Spark, sorry for the late reply, I’d taken a brk from SG for a bit. I don’t like this new format at ALL. The past format did have glitches but at least visually it was a breeze to follow and actually had some good design. You knew who followed you and who replied easily.
THIS design is absolutely ridiculous. Talk about ‘overdone!’

I know you’ve been a supporter here as long as I have, hope you’re doing alright now?
Let me know…

Hey, just saw this! How are you? I miss seeing all my friends from the old site!