My bf is completely squashing my faith in men one step at a time. Lets just say I wish relationships has some sort of ull disclosure agreement. I am always hearing about things from his past that disgust me. He is a reformed bad boy u could say. But when we got together he never told me he was a pothead, or the he didnt grad hs, or how much he drank, or that he was a total porn addict lucky me right? So here my dumbass goes falling in love and bam here are all the secrets?WTF he is supposed to be seeing a counsilor as a condition of living here but he never makes time to go. On days off he only plays video games n eats my food. He owes me money and I cant freakin get rid of him. Each time I ask him to leave he acts like the best bf in the whole world for 3 days and then bam back to dumbass wtf can I do?? He really has some issues and Im not tryin to change him he says he wants to change but gahhh HELP PLZ!
Hello there! Thank you for being here and for sharing your story. I am really sorry for what you are going through with your boyfriend, that's definitely not easy at all. And, I totally and completely feel the same way; can significant others come with a disclosure agreement please. I did the same thing in my last relationship; I fell in love with a man who I didn't really know at all. I then saw sides to him and realized what a monster he was. He was awful, but my feelings were so invested that I overlooked all of it. Finally, one bright and shiny day, with much strength, I told him it was over, I told him to never contact me again.
I think that the best thing that you can do for yourself and for him is to let him go, he needs to really work on himself, because he's clearly not doing that with you. The problem is that he's so comfortable that he doesn't see the need for change. If you cut him off completely and kick him out, then you will be doing him and yourself a massive favor. If he's meant to be with you, then he will come back healthier and happier then ever before.
The only other option is to give him a deadline; if he doesn't get help and make changes by ___ date, then you are done. And be very firm about that.
I hope this helps a bit. I know that none of this is easy, but we are here to help support you in any way that we can.
It appears you took in a stray dog off the street, one you really did not know first. Now this happens with both sexes called free loaders, sucking eveything out of the universe. So keep your faith...their good one's out there. Your saying "He is a reformed bad boy", but I think you now know different...how love is blind.
This experience will tell you to ask more questions first...do some research...and see to what is said, will be put into action, with goals you expect & demand before you commit.
The time has come not too ask him to go, but demand it! He owes you money demand it...get results or you must move on for it won't get any better...take care of your own sanity first...sometime we just can't be too soft, it does you no good or the person your with...will take overly advantage of it. Come too a good understanding, Demand change and Best Wishes!
WOODCHUCK I’M LMFAO!!! you are hilarious. “stray dog off the street” haha yeah when you take em in you can’t get rid of em lol give a stray dog a bone and he’ll stay outside your house forever!
This guy is not a good bf! If he’s making you hate men the problem is HIM!!! Take out the trash and get a guy with some class. or “loose the zero and get yourself a hero” 
I heard that somewhere and I feel like it applies lol. This guy clearly doesn’t respect you and what are you going to do with this guy. You’ll have no future with a guy with no HS education that sits around in your house using you money and not paying you back, disrespecting you, lying, doin drugs, etc etc. What do you see in him? I mean he’s nice for 3 days!!! that’s it but then you know he will be an a** the rest of the days once you let him stay. He’s playing you cuz he knows how to manipulate you! And you fall into his traps. well NO MORE! stand up for yourself and get rid of this guy because he clearly doesn’t respecct you and is taking advantage of you. Sometimes you have to learn from mistakes and yes love is blind but it’s time to open your eyes and SEE that this isn’t love. think about all the tings that you need/want in a guy and think does this guy satisfy those needs? If the answer is NO then kick him out n look for another because really how much worse can you do than a guy who sits around in your house playing video games lying and acting like a jerk? There are decent guys out there. and in order to get a good guy you have to loose this one who clearly isn’t meeting your needs. You’ve tried getting rid of him before so clearly you know you deserve better. You’ve given him many chances and he’s clearly NOT going to change. now you have to take action and throw him out be firm and do this for yourself. He will pretend to be a great bf all of a sudden but you know that he will go back to his ways in a few days. It’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks lol as woodchuck said you have a [untrained] stay dog on you hands…now wouldn’t you rather have a champion breed fully trained one instead It’s time to upgrade. You will not be able to find a better man if you still have this one dragging you down. And just cuz he’s a jerk doesn’t mean all guys are. There are still some nice guys out there (otherwise I’m screwed lol). Also, it’s better to be alone than in bad company soooo if you’re worried about being alone at least remember being alone is better than having him eat your food live in your house and take your money!!! and you won’t be alone for long b/c you’ll find a better one in time =)
Wow Woodchuck, great words of wisdom. You are so right on and I totally agree with all of your suggestions. I totally look at dating sooooo differently now. I go in with eyes wide open and there's no intimacy whatsoever until I really get to know a guy and we're in a committed relationship. I almost work on building a friendship first and go from there. Time and only time shows through the real person, no one can put an act on for that long....not even an Academy Award winning actor ;-)
It just doesn't sound like you're happy. I see no reason to stay with someone you're not happy with... yeah those three days when he behaves himself might be great, but wouldn't it be better to go through the pain of leaving him if it leads you to finding someone who makes you feel that happy all the time, without all the problems?
I second that Nosymarie27! When the bad far outweighs the good, then it's time to make a change.
So I have been doing alot of thinking and Thanks for everyones support I really think puppydoglvr sees where I am coming from...
Given that I was furious at him when I wrote this I may have not mentioned any of the good he does but you are all right things needed to change so I told him he has until the end of the month to get stuff together and get my "loan" back to me or he needs to move out. Also I told him he needs to go see a councilor at least twice by the end of this month or else. So there you have it. Things have been alot better for now since I laid down the lay a bit. He has already paid me back half and is doing more around the house and showing alot more respect. Maybe I have finally gotten him to realize what a good thing he has... Wish me luck!
so glad you stood up for yourself! hopefully it works out and he keeps it up and it's an actual permanent change =) Good Luck!
TooManyQuestions, I am so happy to hear about the changes that you've made with your boyfriend, that's so amazing. I understand all too well what it's like when you need to vent frustration. You felt at your limit with him, so you vented out all of the bad, because clearly you couldn't even see the good at that moment, which is so normal. I am so thrilled for the changes that he's making; he's showing that he is trying to change for you and better himself, that's so fantastic.
Please let us know how you are doing and how things continue to progress.