How nasty can she get

Like I explained before, my wife left 3 weeks ago and took my son. I now find out she is in another state with him and our daughter. Before she wentt out of state she turned off the power, had the phone shut off, cable cut off & had my cell phone turned off. When she left she took her pick up & then drove to my repair shop and picked up my pick-up and re-titled it in her name.
She threatened me with deportation & with the help of a friend is planning to keep on working out of state and have my son live with the friend! Who likes to "home school". This freind also threatened me with calling INS and said I would be picked up if I was arrested & be shipped back to the UK! And just as it happens I was just served with a civil case from the friend an hour ago!
Why do some people work like this?
I don't see how my wife thinks her friend can raise my son? It is my job as a father to raise my children! How can she go out of town for 40 weeks of the year and leave him with someone she has only know for a short while?

First Breathe tandem KEEP a record of all conversation and document everything and i mean everything. date everything also. Do you have any photos of the truck that was yours? for proof Any photos even of your daughter.
Are you married? How long?
I would call police and report a child abduction that will at least keep her from going any further with things.
I would call police and report that she took off with your son and everything else you shared here.
How long have you lived in the country you are in? Are you in the USA?
as a father you have rights also. My guess is if she is with this guy something has been going on with them for a while.
thats pretty cold hearted of her to cut everything off on you.

I would report to the cops ASAP!


be prepared if the cops catch up with her that she will most likley lie and make you the bad person.
Don't give up.


This all started over me finding nude photo's of one of my sons classmates on his PC and finding these sexting messages on his phone. Like I said he's 14 and wanting a girlfriend. I'd rather buy him a horse! Well anyway , we got into a heated arguement about it. His cousin was charged as a sex offender years back and I did not want that for "my" son! So, he was very upset that I told him I did not want him to see this girl. He talked with his mother and when she came home she said it was ok for him to see her, I still said no! We one afternoon I was driving in town and saw her taking my son over to this girls house. I didn't want to fight about it but I just thought it was crazy. The girl had been texting my son that she wanted to have sex with him & I was worried this would happen, trust me I don't need a 14yr old with a child! This put alot of pressure on our marriage. I sat down with my wife and tried to explain my thinking but she said boys will be boys and it was going to happen anyway. And the part that put it over the top for me is she said, she had talked to him (my son) about just getting a hand job! What kind of person says that?? Sorry I am venting! I am just so upset about this.

I am so worried that she will get custody of him and have him living with this other woman. She is buying him stuff left, right & center and posting photo's of them having a great time on FB with nasty little comments. I never really knew she could turn this way.

She doesn't have the right to take your son and leave, regardless of your citizenship status. I think we can all agree that the United States has more than due process for those who are here illegally, and certainly has something in place to protect someone like you, who is not a citizen, but is here legally. Perhaps you could contact the nearest UK embassy that is located in the US. They exist to protect their own citizens when abroad.

She has lied to the police. When she came home I knew there was trouble just by the look of her. The home has always been really nice when she is gone but when she comes home it's another story. It's all about her! She only does things with the children that she wants to do, she's home for a few days or a week and then is gone again. We all sort of hold our breath while she is home and try not to upset her while she's home. Then on the phone while she is away I get the run down of what was wrong with her visit! I just had to put up with it.
But When she came home and told me she was leaving I said that fine , but my son stays here! He has a stable home here & I have been the one looking after him for the past 10 years. That made her go silly and she called the sheriff. But he told her she could not take my sons stuff, only her's.
So she told the officer she was going on a trail ride and loaded all her stuff in our trailer took 2 horses and then drove to the school and picked my son up with the horse trailer!
She will lie & has lied & has even gotten my daughter to lie for her. She has not seen my daughter in 4 months untill last week because she upset her. But last week she bought my daughter a car and now she is saying nasty things about me also!

i am not really illegal, I am whats called "out of status" My passport expired while I was filing and put in a move or two and life getting in the way and time just flys. But she has used this over me in the past & when we moved to SC a few years ago she really backed off on wanting to get me fully legal. I have never beeen in trouble, I love this country, and I work for myself. but it is a tool she uses to hold over my head.

Then go to INS and ask for a hearing on your status. Call your wife's bluff. My guess is that if an illegal immigrant who commits a crime gets to stay here and work and use services while waiting for due process, you surely will be entitled to be here. You have a long history, a wife, and a child. That should entitle you to something. I'm not trying to be an illegal immigrant basher, but it is a fact that many steps are in place to protect those here illegally. Since you are not illegal (although now with expired papers, you may be), and have an American son, you should in theory get better consideration than a person who snuck in the country illegally.

You have rights and you have children with her.sounds to me like she is abusive. I will still document everything just in case there is court in your future would be helpful in your case.
Her taking off and everything she has done will not make her look good and she has to have the proof to back up her statements.

I still say involve the police!!


Well, she has gotten her way! Deportation is cheeper than a divorce! Her friend filed a suit on me over a TV (of all things) she gave us 6 months ago and as I understand it the INS will be there to pick me up at the court! So I am done! I will not be able to return for ten years & my son will be raised by my wifes nut-job friend while my wife travels the country.

I don't understand why anyone would do this to someone they have been with for 19 years and has been devoted to them, I just don't understand it.

you have been together for 19 yrs can they deport you not have right to your children.. UGH what is wrong with this country?

Some laws really need to change the system is screwed !!

I am not sure that our gov't will force you to stay away from your son for 10 years or even 10 days. Illegal immigrants who knowingly commit crimes have rights in America, so surely you will, too. I would contact an immigration rights group. They give free advice.

You need to get a attorney to help you get your INS stuff straightened out and file for divorce. Your marriage is over, but your rights with your children are not. You are right to take a stand over the sexting photos. There are laws against underage sexting with heavy penalties. I'm a teacher and should know. An attorney can give you your best avenues to pursue. It may cost a lot up front but will be worth it in the long run. Your wife thinks she has you by the balls and is playing hard ball. You need to start playing hard ball back. Start with filing for divorce so she can't move all your money and steal everything from you. Once you file you can always put in a stay for mediation or for couseling. You have to show her you are not going to let her push you around. Look out for yourself and get legal counsel.

I agree with Teach 100%. There are laws to protect you in regards to your kid regardless of your immigration status. And the sexting thing can put your kid in jeopardy of being labeled a sex offender, especially if his photos land in the hands of a young woman whose mom DOES give a ****.

From Romantic Relationships to Divorce & Separation