Hi there. So, I’m feeling a little bit weird about posting because I would not consider myself an alcoholic. However, recently, I’ve noticed that maybe I have a bit of a toxic relationship with alcohol. Last month, I ruined the best relationship I’ve ever had after accidentally blacking out, having a mental breakdown, and putting my ex-boyfriend through “the worst night of his life.” I hadn’t blacked out like that in many, many years, but I’m now concerned that my relationship with alcohol is not healthy, nor is it serving me. I can go without drinking, and when I do drink, I can stop. I just feel like I can often overdo it when I really don’t need to. I also tend to drink faster than most people. When I drink too much too fast, that will lead to a blackout, and since I’m aware of that, I’m usually good at avoiding that. I do “brown-out” often, however. This is usually not at the expense of others, but I am fearful that it may become that way. I started going back to therapy as my inability to control myself that night was rooted in some feelings of depression and anxiety. I think I’d like to learn how to change my relationship with alcohol and want to attend AA, but I also do not want to attend AA and be disrespectful to the group. Can I go to AA just to learn and maybe shift my perspective? I wouldn’t particularly want to speak, but I think my individual therapy sessions aren’t enough for me to truly dive into the work of potentially choosing a life of sobriety. Does anyone experience anything similar or have advice to offer?
Hey, i have experienced a battle with alchohol. To the point were it interfered with my dating life. Last time i had a drink was in march. Lgbtq gay days in orlando.
I drank the equivalant of 3 750ml bottles of liquor not mention what my bar tab that night. I embarassed myself… fell 25 times including under a dining table where the guy brought me to eat something to sober me. Well that didnt work. The guy ended up still coming over which again i embarrased myself. Needless to say we never ended up an item but still friends which is surprising to me.
My advice use that ome day to remind you f how you handle your alchohol.
AA will always except you whether you want to share or not. No support is bad support.
Since march i have not since touched a beer for the fear of me acting the way i did in march.
I hope this helps and gives you the advice to set off in the right direction.
Thank you so much for your vulnerability and sharing your story. And thank you for sharing the wisdom you were able to reap from your experience. I appreciate you very much so.