Still moving forward. :) the house sold! The first anniversary since the split : done. Divorce final. Now I'm working on that scary annulment process. But I found my own place and am moving in this weekend!
The only thing I'm questioning these days is my ability to date. Somehow I'm struggling w the ability to be vulnerable in a relationship. Whenever it gets tender after 2weeks or so I tend to bail. I find like a million things I cant stand about the guy and then I break his heart. Which I hate doing. But it keeps happening.
So I'm guessing maybe I'm not ready for relationships? But I do want to love someone I just don't want to receive it. Ha. Well I mean I do. I know I deserve it. But I'm just not opening up to it. Its frustrating as all hell.
Anyone else go through this or have suggestions? Its been about 8 months since separation.
I am no where near where you are...but that is exactly my worry for the future. For me dating. How can I allow someone to get that close again...to hurt me like my stbx did. I really don't EVER want to feal that pain again.
I know that she is one woman...one that lies and cheats and that not all women are like that. I just have had a terrible record with women that tend to need help. I guess I like the vulnerability - but most of them are unstable in many ways. This is sadly my second time around the divorce go round and my first wife was bi-polar, severly depressed and the second...well depressed for sure, family history - indeed. She's in complete denial and thinks everyone comes to her for advice. YIKES!
Both of them cheated on me...the first one mentally said she did and didn't want to be with me...till 6 months later, wanted me back - it was to far at that point. I knew she was wrong for me. Always made me feel down. This one emotionally, physically and everything else. I NEVER WANT THIS TO HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm sure you feel the same way emryanne. Why get close to someone to have them hurt you - Now my greatest fear. Throughout all of my dating history...I've ALWAYS been a faithful and committed partner. I don't cheat and I believe in long term - but now...I'm not sure anymore. I want someone to grow old with...to share in the raising of my son and to really LOVE ME for ME.
I hope the best for you and please keep me posted on how you work through this...cause I'm not sure where to even start...if I even want to. I'm ready to get a dog and be done there. At least dogs are loyal.