Ive been diagnosed with anorexia. Ive battled my weight since I was 12 years old and Im now 18. In 2004, I became bulimic and in 2009, I started to be more obsessed about my weight. Ive skipped meals and Ive gone days without eating and only drinking water. Im trying to get better without help from a therapist and/or doctor but, Ive come to realize thats really hard. Ive been addicted to pain pills before. My mom is scared and may send me to anorexia and drug treatment this summer in california. Im scared that the people at this place wont think Im suffering with an eating disorder because Im a big person. For the last 1 1/2 weeks, my weight has been more of an issue for me. I just recently started eating more than I have in a long time which means Im heading towards the right direction.
You have to be honest with yourself. If you think that during certain period you could start eating regularly, then it is OK, but if it is hard to follow the process, then you should seek professional help. Ask your mom to help you with this schedule and slowly you will feel more relax and comfortable. God bless you.
Today has been really hard for me to eat. My mom told me "you have lost all the color in your face". I asked her what she meant, and she told me that I dont look well. My mom asked me if Ive been purging or taking large ammounts of laxatives. I said "no, not in a while" and that was thr truth. Its 8:20pm, Seattle time and my mom has been trying to get me to eat some protein all day. I finally just took some chicken and am eating it very slowly. My hands shake when I eat. I think its because Im anxious that I will gain weight. Ive been really cold and am wearing layers.
I finally got the Vicodin from the pharmacy today for the pain in my back. I took some Ibuprofen earlier and that has helped me swealiing. The Vicodin makes me really groggy so, Im not taking it until I want to go to sleep.
Im going on a hike tomorrow with some of my friends from the community center. There are 3 young adults and 2 older adults going with us. I leave at 10am tomorrow morning and come back at 5pm. Im supposed to take a sack lunch which I will but, am unsure if I will eat it. I may give it to one of my friends.
Im trying to get a lot of my math done before tomorrow so I wont feel guilty going. Im working on graphing which is my least favorite but, I can do it. Im trying to get 2 assignments and 4 quizes done tonight.
Im trying to find a doctor who helps people with ED's that I like. The one I went to last Tuesday was ADHD and I didnt like him very much. Plus, hes a man and I dont work well with men.
My mom and I called the ed center in Calirfornia last week to see if I can go over the summer. The place has accepted me and my insurance will pay for it. Im going on June 27th and will stay until Im better. Im scared but, Im not well and I need extra support. Hopefully this center will help me.