I feel that my self esteem really lacks at times and my family tends to point out how hard I am on myself. Being single for so long and not meeting anyone that I'm super excited about doesn't help matters. Though, I recently re-connected with a man who really did a number on me and my self-esteem.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to work on improving self-esteem?
Thanks so much!
Meaning no disrespect, but the first step to improving self-esteem is to not return to or remain in relationships that tear it down.
Having said that maybe you could try these websites:
http://www.more-selfesteem.com/self_motivation.htm
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/making-change/201006/generating-self-esteem-positive-thinking-and-other-improvements
There may even be self-esteem workshops or some retreat.
Good Luck!
Hey PDL,
There are a few things that can help self esteem. A few tips, that I've learnt in life and various books...yes, the dreaded "self help" ones.
1. Look for the good in others...sometimes when we don't feel great about ourselves we see the bad in others because we are finding is negativity everywhere...so find one positive to think about everyone you meet...that clears away alot of our own negativity.
2. Walk taller...yes...the dreaded one my mother has been poking me in the back for all these years, but it works, and everytime you find you yourself slouching immediately correct yourself.
3. Spin every thoight from a positive to a negative...e.g. I don't want to have no dates lined up next month...I will have dates lined up next month. By focusing on what we will have we are taking away the negativity.
4. Be grateful...be very thankful for what you do have right now, because it is wonderful. Hell even I think you are fantastic and I've never met you:) Be thankful for your friends, family and work. Put new photos of these people up to remind you of how how well loved you already are.
5. Do something do cheer someone else up. Just out of the blue...call a friend to tell the you love them or give a friend or family member some flowers, just something to brighten a day...I'm telling you this will make you feel wonderful and glow inside.
6. Meditate, I have tried this myself, it is difficult, but give it a lash, it is calming.
7. When you wake, look yourself in the mirror and embarrasing as this may sound tell yourself at least three times out loud, 3 reasons (not physical, even though I am sure you are stunning) why you deserve to be loved...this will take practise...but eventually you will believe it. (at the start it will give you a good laugh in the morning)
8. R n R -look after yourself, exercise, lovely showers/baths and beautiful smelling moisturisers is the way I go...it's 20 minutes out of your day and it is worth it.
9. Sing...whistle...hummm.
10. Start believing in the wonderful girl you are...really start seeing that good heart and what you have to offer.
I hope this was helpful...I really do believe in you. I know you are so close to love. I know that guy gave you a kick, but in your life story he is but a whisper in the wind...and it may take a while to get over what he did, because I know feelings don't turn on and off like a tap.
I hope you wake tomorrow, bright eyed and bushy tailed with your heart open and ready for love...because he could be anywhere.
Much Much Love to you
Moongal x
moongal, this list is wonderful! i m going to copy it down and use it–it is great!!!
thanks so for your insight, as this list is soo true!
love
christa
Oh my goodness Moongal...wow, your comment is so amazing and really made me smile and filled me with so much happiness. I can't thank you enough for listing out ten incredible steps to helping my self-esteem when feeling a bit down. I love each and every step and will learn to instill these steps into my daily life. I especially love steps 3 & 4. And, your wonderfully inspiring words "I know you are so close to love. I know that guy gave you a kick, but in your life story he is but a whisper in the wind...and it may take a while to get over what he did, because I know feelings don't turn on and off like a tap" really touched my heart and for that I can't thank you enough. You have been a true blessing for me here and for that I am so very grateful. I wish the same for you; I wish you so much love, fulfillment, joy, and happiness.
And Jacki66, I am checking out your recommended sites, thank you so much for that, they are incredibly helpful. Wishing you a sensational day!
Hey Puppy,
No worries, at all. I am glad you found them helpful and hope you put them into practise. I do understand how you feel and I think after a wobble like this it is important to take extra special care of yourself in a positive way.
Because when these feelings pass, and they will, you will be focussing on the future and not thinking of the impact of before.
I do think you are very close to finding love, because you are out there seeking it. I would much prefer to live my life willing to get my heart broken again and again in the pursuit of love, then spend my life protecting it and never knowing the true nature of real love.
Keep coming back here...love hearing from you
Moongal x
Thank you so much for believing that I will find my true love soon and for putting that incredibly positive energy out there for me. I honestly can't thank you enough for that and all of your inspiration.
And I am really putting the energy of wanting to meet my Right One out there. You put it so wisely in that it's better to take the risk of being heartbroken in order to find the amazement of a fulfilling and loving relationship. I put so much risk out there for my businesses, yet I guard my heart so closely because to me it's a much greater risk. Though, in order to really find success in love, then it's going to take some risk and I am ready and willing to do it. Oh yes! Thanks to you!
I am so glad to hear you're feeling more positive. Just keep sending those positive vibes out there and keep me posted on how you are getting on of course and how you are feeling.
You are a great girl and you deserve the very best, from yourself and from whomever you choose.
Much love to you
Moongal x
thank you! and as do you....and I know that you will have it all....everything that you've ever dreamed of and so much more.
AWWW PupLVr, I know exactly what YOU MEAN!!! people especially toxic ones can literally suck the life out of you and we care givers can even loose ourselves in situations and giving up our power to others whether we realize it or not!!! I think it starts by loving ones' self. You cannot really have healthy good relationships that are balanced unless you love yourself first then you can give truly to another, love and other things they need etc.
Do things you love, learn something new, or engage in things that give you and your life purpose. Be around people like friends or family that make you happy not sad or stressed. Know how to set boundaries, put yourself first, do things for yourself set goals and complete them. Pamper youself, spa day, or treat yourself to something you want or go on a trip to relax and enjoy. OVer time you'll feel better and more capable of things in general which will give your self esteem a boost.
Write down different 10 quailities you like in yourself and those you want to develop. Each month count 10 more:) count at least 5 things each day to be grateful for. Stare yourself in the minor and do affirmation things. Like I"M SMART< BEAUTIFUL FUN< FANTASTIC PERSON TO BE WITH!! I SIMPLY LOVE MYSELF, MY BODY, MY MIND, AND WILL LOVE LIVING ON THIS OH SO VERY FINE DAY!!! eventually over time you'll belive it and will live loving yourself.
Laugh for no reason watch if you do this with friends you'll see thier wacky expressions some might go along for two seconds or some might just call u crazy,others will question your sudden out burst. But in the end you'll laugh at this technique and it'll be fun to do. Someone told me and i still tell kids i work with this, if you fake smile during the day, soon enough that fake smile will turn into a real one and whether its fake or not smiling does make you feel better inside.
Plus if you smile in public others will smile its contagious & seeing others smile will make your day becuase you spreading happiness around and who the heck doesn't like doing that!!! CHin up, Cheer up by Changing your thinking!!
Thanks so much for your amazing advice and support ClimbButterfly-pea! You are so right in that we absolutely have to love ourselves first so as to be able to properly give to others. I truly believe that. And, I love the smiling at others suggestion. I am definitely going to start applying that to my day-to-day life. If anything, it gives off good happy positive energy.
Ur welcome, you help me with your advice and am glad to return the favor!!! LEt me know how things turn out okay:) U enjoy the rest of your week!!:)
ClimbButterfly-pea, thank you so much for your wonderful words, I truly appreciate all of your support and advice and so happy to know that I can help in any little way. I am actually feeling pretty good this week, stress level's down significantly and I am really working to keep it that way. Thank you again! Wishing you all of the very best and sending you tons of positive energy!