How to let it go

Ive been with my husband for 10 years and we have a 3yr old together. I recently found a "secret" email he has had for years..I found folders with explicit photos of other women. These are real people not internet photos. i confronted him and he said he has no idea why he does this!! How do I move on and allow my self to forgive him?

I'm dealing with the same thing kinda.I been married 6yrs now.This started two yrs after marriage.I was always willing to be with my husband and he had know excuse in my eyes of doing these things.My husband repeated this behavior constantly.I allowed it to ruin my self esteem.I took it personal as if I had something wrong with me.I had to realize the hard way it hard nothing to do with me.He simply had a pornography problem and sexual addiction.This is not always the case but can be a possibility.Sometimes men just don't ask their wives to do things sexually they really feel they need.It's not a excuse to do these things but it's important first you try not to take it as a flaw on your part.Try to open up with understanding communication.If this don't work go see a councelor if he is willing.He must be willing to make changes to save your marriage his self.It's hard to sit back and wait for them to change but it has to be their choice.If he complies and gives you proof he is trying to change your forgiveness and respect he will regain.It is really a time process you are hurt and have every right to be.Most the time they don't realize the extent of the damage they are doing.Read my newest post on seeing a councelor it helped change my view and my husbands view of these things.Stay positive mean time and understand most the time it has nothing to do with you personally.It is something they feel they are not willing to say they need or a sexual addiction they don't realize they have.One tip of advice stay on top of it and make him be accountable to you and regain your trust.If he tells you he will never do it again he may not want to but if he has a addiction he will fail you.If he does please don't throw your marriage away help him to seek help.many people have this problem who really love their spouses but drive them away and go untreated.It's not you or he would've left it's a problem he has to deal with.I'm facing this and if 4yrs ago had someone to give me this info may not have lost my own self esteem and gave up on my marriage.Hope the best for you if you ever wanna talk I'm here.

I'd listen to Kis, she knows what she HAS learned. I also like to suggest to seek counseling if affordable & find answers within yourself as to WHY you would even want to forgive & WHY you would let someone treat you this way, the answers are there & take a long time to find.

Keep talking with us even though your post was a while ago, we're here to talk it out with & think it through.

April