How to make up with my son. I have a grown son that says I wasn't there for him because of my depression. (I said the same thing to my mother) I don't know exactly what to say. Any ideas?
I think the most honest thing to do is to apologize for how you made him feel. I think what people want most is to feel like their emotions are valued and heard. I would then ask him directly what he wants from your relationship, what you two can do to start rebuilding that relationship now. Maybe you guys can talk more frequently or get together more. Maybe you can talk to him about what you went through and he can open up about what he went through in his childhood too, from his perspective. With no judgments, no defensiveness, just open honesty about each of your feelings. You could even talk about your relationship with your mom. I wish the best for you two- I'm sure it took a lot of guts for your son to open up and tell you that, and I think, as hard as it was to hear, it could be a really great step for you guys and lead to a closer relationship.