How to trust and let go of the hurt and pain

So i'm struggling with letting go of the hurt and pain I am feeling from my boyfriends addiction to alcohol. I don't even know what the first step is on letting go and releasing it. I don't trust him to tell me the truth in regards to alot of things. In the depth of his addiction he was hanging out with other girls since I wouldn't go out drinking with him. He swears he never physically cheated on me but I have a hard time believing that, especially since the month before he left for rehab there was one girl in particular that he was hanging out with who didn't know about me until I got her number and called her and met her face to face. He told her I wasn't his gf and we hadn't been together in months. That of course was a lie since we live together and she believed him. The night before he left for rehab (Valentines day this year) I had to work so we went out the night before for dinner and he bought a few gifts which he stated was for me when i'm feeling bad while he was away. Well on Vday night he went out with his guy friend and actually met up with the same tramp for dinner and gave her the gifts he said were for me. I ended up going out to the bar they all three were at and he was wasted and this tramp of course was there and started things with me. All in all he didn't come home til like 7am the next day when I was leaving for work and he left 2 hrs later for rehab.

Well he is still away in rehab and I am trying to resolve the hurt feelings and pain I am experiancing over all this. We are trying to work things out with our relationship but isnt easy with him away, I am lost and not sure what to do first or even next. I know I am worth being loved and deserve it, I just don't know how to deal with the grief. Any advice would be a great help. Thanks

Hi there,

Sorry to hear about your situation but my advice is leave him. What you are being is a "Women Who Loves Too Much" and there is a book out on it. That was a role I played in a relationship that was rocky but I held on to it by being a women who loves too much and 80-90 percent of the time I didnt trust a word that he said. I held on for the sake of not being alone and what I got back was hell. There was always a surprise around that corner, as though it was intentionally set up for something to hurt/break me. I wasted 4 years of my life because I kept taking him back, kept turning a blind eye to the pain he was putting on me. I used to have gut feelings all the time and this usually made me moody during our time - and sooner or later my gut freeling always proved me right. I'm played the fool for too long and recently was able to see how much I let my world revolve around a man who was actually nothing close to the man I deserved in my life. He's an alcoholic and that's his problem and he needs to deal with it alone. What this book talks about is how women try and take over a man's problem and when it doesnt work out her way, she blames herslef for not doing enough. You are unique and you deserve someone who doesnt deny you to anyone! Be strong - sourround yourself with positive people alot and if its meant to be, he will sort out every single issue of his before coming back to you. Take care for now and feel free to drop me a line if you need to.

honey if u cant trust him he is no good. women develope an instinct for this type of thing. u deserve so much better and a man who is only adicted to u. sending u lots of love to find that man who is waiting for u out there