How do you go through divorce and get through it??? I have so many thoughts and emotions in my head, I still don't believe this is for real. I don't want it, I love my husband.
If you don't mind me sking what happened?
Sure...well about a year ago, I was in a pretty bad place in my mind, I became very despressed due to a failed master's class, a bad job and overcoming being lonely when my husband changed careers and went back to school. So I ignored many things from my interests to my friends, family and my husband. It got to be extremly hard on my husband and he kept trying to bring me out of my depression but I was in too deep. I finally went to counsiling in October but it wasn't really helping in the way I had wanted it. In the beginning of Feb he mentioned divorce, left for a few days, he came back when my dad got diagnosed with cancer. He has been living with me ever since. But we never see each other, he rarely asks how I am doing. Last night we got into a huge fight about everything you could imagine. I got mad at one point and took off my wedding rings, he took them and swore he was going to sell them and I would never get them back. Today he is looking for an apartment and planning on moving out. if he does in face sell my rings we are done.
May I suggest you get the Movie "Fireproof" and watch it?
What I see here is anger and resentment taking over... I want you to stop taking "Negative actions" and try to take Positive ones instead..
I would like to offer you this suggestion, Write him a simple nice note, tell him you genuinely Love him and ask him for your rings back.
I also would like you to buy a small notebook, and write everyday loving thoughts in it, and give it for him to read, let him know it's ok to write his thoughts back...
Gentle words Divert Anger, Harsh words encourage wrath, bear that in mind when you start to get heated at each other.... You can save this marraige, it will take effort, forgiveness, and forgetting any past issues.
Wipe the slate clean, keep no record of wrongs, and just ask him to do the same.... Lots of times, this works...
I then would ask you to think about praying for your relationship, ask god to help you both heal, and view yourselves as a team. Would you guys be willing to go to a nice church, get involved... You would be surprised how many sermons pastors preach about relationships, making them stronger.... and protecting them from all the evils, distractions and so forth that todays society brings.
I don't know if that will work. There are days I send him text messages saying something nice and encouaging or even just an I love you and I get nothing in return. Yesterday afternoon I did text I love you and then this is how our evening turned out.
May I suggest you dump the text messaging.... It's so impersonal, just give it a try with writing the notes... what do you have to lose? Isn't your husband worth taking that chance?
There is resentment and anger being held in here, and he is not thinking clearly, adrenaline, testosterone are all kicked in and the mind can play tricks here... Let things cool down a bit ok, don't allow yourself to develop anxiety over this and start doing or saying things that could make it worse... just pray, be loving and patient.
The toungue is a small thing, yet it can cause a great fire, think about what you say before you say it, don't allow your emotions to carry you over...
I have found that the bible is the greatest authority on how to develop and maintain strong, faithful relationships, If you would like I will gladly offer you some verses that are very insightful and can offer you guidance.
But I do want you to have courage, and have faith right now.