Hello, I am new to this site, I dont know where else to turn to to express some feelings and concerns I am having and hopefully get some help. Well I have been with my husband for three years and married now for 10 months, I new about his diagnoses prior to starting this relationship and I love him and support him through every hurdle. Recently my husband has been admitted back to the psych unit for the 4th time in 9 months. So since we got married he has been in the psych ward 4times and when he goes in it can range from 3 weeks to well over a month. Usually I am there twice a day at both visiting hours with lunch or dinner. He is never apprehiative. I work third shift as a nurse and will wake up to go to visiting hours. Natually he blames him being in the hospital on me because he was "fine" and I told the doctors lies, which is untrue he actually stops his meds each time and then snowballs into full blown pshizophrenia. This time I cant bring myself to visit him, he has been there a week and I have only gone twice leaving early both times. I am so angry at him for stopping his meds again and I know its not him it is his illness so I am even more furious at myself for being so angry at him. Is this a natual feeling? What can I do? The more and more I think about this all I can do is cry because I am so mad. In a way I feel like he is doing this on purpose to get away from me because I am not a good wife or something. Please help with any advise...
He can blame whomever he wants, bu the reality is that he is ill and he needs medical attention, otherwise the matter will not improve. I do not have to tell you, you are very well aware of the situation, but when ii hits home it is a different story. He can not be on and off and on again regarding medicine, he needs the full treatment, even psychologically it is not good for him. Do not blame yourself, try to get the best help for him. Wishing you peace and happiness. God bless you.
dear sunfly your husband has a disorder according to the NAMI and it is not your fauilt. you are a good and loving wife. he "thinks" you lie because of his disorder and only the meds can straighten out his disordered thinking process. this may take some time and the right medication. do not give up. you both sound young and it can take a few years for this disorder to settle down. i have two sons with schizophrenia and one is entirely stable and the other is still working on it and now seems to be stabilizing himself after the addition of two new medicaitons, very sedating after almost 12 years, so it is a challenge for family. your husband is very blessed to have a loving wife who is stable to stand by him. both my sons are creative loving men.
i too fall apart even after all this time and get angry and have to remind myself it is not them i am angry at it is the disorder. it is not them it is the symptoms of the disorder, the meds and the seemingly terrible unfairness of it all. giving glory to God for all things is not an easy thing to do, but do not despair all things work out for our betterment and there is still love and life beyond paranoid schizophrenia.
all my best with faith and hope and loving kindness. a prayer warrior praying for you guys.
sunfly, my husband is in the hospital now. we have been married 21 years and he is never happy to see me. so i know exactly how you feel. all i do is cry at night. the hospital isnt near me so it takes alot for me to get there but he doesnt seem to worry. i know its so hard not to get angry and i too have been mad at myself for getting angry with him. i know how hard it is to watch the man you love do something you know is going to hurt him in the long run. i will pray for you but never blame yourself