Hydrocodone withdrawal

Addiction & Recovery Substance Abuse
1

I'm new here, but battling withdrawals from hydrocodone. My story is probably not any more remarkable than anyone elses. I'm 38 years old, a married man, with great kids and a good life. I started taking these **** things about 4 years ago after a toothache. My father is a long-term user and will be until he dies I think.. but he has the uncanny knack of being responsible taking them. I never figured they would get a hold of me.. couldn't happen I thought, but I was wrong.

I started taking morpheine about 6 months ago. I took 30mg 3x (or more a day). It really becomes maintenance.. people need to realize that euphoric feeling you get doesn't last when you take these types of pills. Only in the beginning is it 'good', then it is nothing more than waking up and 'not being sick' because you don't have them. I was in denial about it, deep down I knew, everyone does, but you fake through life to keep taking them. Always an excuse, an ache, a bad day, an event that makes you say I'm not quitting now.. 'I can't because I can't deal with life right now without them'.

Anyhow, in 4 years of taking hydrocodone and graduating to morpheine I only went 1 day without the morpheine.. just 1. That one day was hell! I knew right then I had to quit..and so I did. I went through hell for about 3 days until I felt like I couldn't take it anymore and went and got hydrocodone to 'lessen' the effects of morpheine withdrawal. That might have worked if I had self-control, but you don't become addicted to these things if self-control is the driver's seat. I was given 7 to last me a week.. was told to take half in the morning, half at night. I took them all in a day, maybe 2, then was right back to nagging for more.

So, here I am. It's hard to admit to yourself that the only way to quit...is to stop taking pills. "I'll just have 1 today so I can sleep tonight" doesn't work. I know that now. It was hard to convince myself of that but I know it's true.

I haven't had any in 3 days now. It hurts to be in my skin. My eyes water, my nose runs, not to mention going to the bathroom every 10 minutes. But there's a bonus! I don't get to sleep hardly at all..

When I do fall asleep, I can't stay asleep and my legs are restless and my feet feel like they are on fire.

Yesterday wasn't a bad day, but today!!! I feel terrible, bad enough to come here and write down all of this. That's a huge step for me.. I'm not that kind of a guy, but my addiction is a secret. (I don't think I've mentioned that). I'm ready to turn inside out and all I can do is smile and pretend I'm not feeling like falling apart.

I'm prepared to deal with this. I found the courage to quit and I'm not backing down. I won't let this beat me any more. I am just looking for that light.. at the end of this life sucking tunnel. When will I feel better? When can I get concentration back? I know I'm inside here somewhere, but **** it's hard to find me right now......

2

Welcome to the board and congrats on wanting to kick your addiction to the curb.
I was out there abusing any and all opiates at near lethal levels for almost 15 years. I would quit (usually because I ran out) and go through the Hell of withdrawal, swear I would never do that again but pick right up full tilt boogie and cause more damage.
When I reached out for help because I knew my way wasn't working and I couldn't do it alone, I was averaging 100 pills a day on top of a mixture of other stuff. Cold turkey detox was no longer and option. I found a doctor who knew about addiction and was detoxed within ten days with the help of Suboxone. My sober date is Thursday the 31st of January, 2008.
I immediately got my butt into nightly AA meetings (NA here isn't as sober) and statrted dealing with the why's I got stoned to begin with. See, our way rarely works. We keep doing the same thing and expect different results. I haven't been dope sick, haven't schemed, lied, stole, cheated, counted pills, needed to get high to get out of bed, ad infinitum since.
The important question you need to ask yourself is this: are you willing to do whatever it takes to get and stay sober? If the answer is yes, you have the willingness to change. If it's no, how much lower do you have to get? Start attending meetings, for the support and to build a network of happy sober people who know exactly what you are going through.. Get a sponsor, do the work and then pay it forward to the next person who needs help. Take the suggestions from those of us who have been there and are now free, we didn't get here without a lot of hard work, honesty and tears.
Withdrwals sucks, yes but it's such a small piece of the puzzle and a small price to pay for freedom. There is no free pass off the opiate express. As for your dad, worry about you.
Keep posting.

3

Thank you for the encouraging words. I am prepared to commit to this. I'm on day 3, but I guess I was expecting to feel a little better everyday and not worse. I was going to say that I didn't think I could go to a meeting, but then again if I could find the time to get the pills without being caught, a meeting should be a breeze.

I don't know, I'm just feeling so miserable right now. My skin hurts. I don't know how to even describe it.. maybe if someone kicked my *** while I had the flu?!? Maybe that's a good way to describe it and then I try and sleep and... denied. My legs want to go dancing..so I took a couple benadryl thinking that would make me sleepy and then I read that benadryl can make restless legs worse.. so good thinking there.

My wife doesn't know. She 'knew' that I was taking them a long time ago, but I said I would stop and she believed me and I just got a lot better at hiding them. I was thinking of telling her, but I'm afraid that instead of support, I'll only end up feeling worse as she points out how I betrayed her trust, lied, and kept this secret. Sucks to be me I guess.

But! I'm prepared to go through it. Whatever it takes, however long it takes. Is there anything I can do to lessen the symptoms? Or should I just put on a helmet and realize that 4 years of addiction doesn't go away in 3 days?

4

The general rule of thumb for withdrawals is 72 hours. After that, they symptoms start to abate.
Listen, I'm at almost three years sober and I'm still healing so..no, it won't go away until you start working it out. Even then it's only a daily reprieve.
As for meetings, don't let your ego stop you from getting the help you need. Ask yourself this: were you really worried about whether people were watching you do what you needed to do to feed your habit? I don't know about you, but I did some pretty horrific things. Believe me, no one cares as much as you imagine they do about what you are doing and god forbid people see you being a power of example, right? Go get the help you need; you are only as sick as your secrets. As for your wife: trust is the first things to go and the last thing to come back. Keep doing the next right thing with actions. I'm sorry won't cut it anymore. When I did my 12 steps, I cleaned up my side of the street, made my amends and now I am a free woman.
It sucks to be any of the millions of addicts who have lied, schemed, and stole money from loved ones. But, through our actions we make it better.
Keep posting.

5

It's been 11 days now.

I am starting to feel better. The anxiety was/is the last thing to go, that and for some reason I keep sneezing like I'm allergic to something, but overall the days are improving. I'm starting to feel like myself again for the first time in 4 years. I will not say that I do not 'want' a pill, but I will not take one.. and that is the key to making this whole sobriety thing work. I haven't made it to any meetings, but I did call a hotline a couple times. The sound of someone else's voice encouraging me to be strong helped, it really did. Maybe I'm lucky? I don't know, but all I have to do to stay off pills is to remember how bad it sucked not having them. That will be enough for me.

I finally ended up telling my wife about the whole thing. One day she asked me if I was having an affair.. I couldn't even believe the question until she pointed out how funny I was acting. I was having a terrible time sleeping and rather than wake up my wife because I couldn't hold still, I ended up going from the bed to the floor, couch, wherever and my wife found that pretty odd with the other weird signs I was showing. She was outraged at first, but I am extremely lucky in that before I knew it she was supportive.. even trying to massage my legs that never want to sleep. (That too is better now). I'm grateful for her patience and I will not put her through this again.

I'm better today than yesterday and every day is mine again. That is what this is all about and I hope people make the effort and deal with the tiny amount of time it takes to get well. It can be done and it is possible it just takes a commitment.

6

It's never as bad as you imagine it will be. Eleven days is quite an accomplishment!
What are you going to do to stay sober after you start to feeling better physically?

7

I know of a way to help with all of the withdrawals....please read: I know exactly how you feel. I have taken Lorcets for over five years now and have tried to quit many times. I was the same way, hiding my addiction as it got worse. It got so bad that it took at least 5 or 6 pills, four times a day just to make it. I didn't or should say I don't know how to just be normal with being high. I tried to quit a few times and was successful about twice...but sooner or later I was right back to it again. I tried stepping down and telling myself that I would just take the last ones I had to sleep and just buy a couple to get me through the week. DID NOT WORK! The withdrawals got so bad that I would just break out into a cold sweat thinking that I might run out before the next day. I couldn't go on vacation without a sack full, hell I couldn't go to the movies without two pockets full. I too finally told my NEW wife of my addiction and she has been my rock through out it all. She stood beside me and behind me as i tried to quit yet again. She would keep my pills and only give me so many at different times of the day. Finally said to hell with it and quit cold turkey and had the absolute worse withdawals that I have ever had. She held my hand through it all and never once judged me. I finally got through that but the following weeks were even worse. The cravings and depression literally ate my soul alive. I couldnt take it anymore and I relapsed and hid it from my wife. After about two months i couldn't take it anymore. It was getting harder and harder to keep up with my addiction and was costing us everything. I told her yet again that I was back on the pills and she never thought twice about helping me through the breakdown again. We did alot of research on line and finally found what we were looking for. Suboxone....it is a prescription drug that is designed to help you quit your addiction, and the best part, you can do it at home. We went to our doctor and told her about everything and she gave me the prescription. You had to wait for about 12-24 hour before you could take it...after NOT taking any other pills. You had to start to go through withdrawals again.The longer you wait, the better. I waited 20 hours until I couldn't take it anymore and took HALF of my first Suboxone. Within 20 minutes my withdrawals were completly gone. No sweats, runny nose, restless legs, sickness.....nothing. I have now been taking them for three days, one half in the AM and one half in the PM and I feel great. Don't get me wrong it is not an instant fix, it just helps you to keep from the harsh withdrawals and relapsing. I havent went 12 hours without taking a Lorcet (besides the two time that I quit) in five years. I just couldn't do it. I haven't had a pill in 4 days and I feel great. I have a long road ahead of me to win the battle but with Suboxone it actually feels like I may win and live a normal life again. If anybody would like to know anymore about the Suboxone feal free to email me @ [email protected]. I wish you all the luck and please stick with it.....it will all be so worth it in the end.

8

Also my doctor told me of a couple other prescriptions that you could take after you have detoxed? I don't want to sound like a pill pusher but if I would have known about any of these drugs I wouldn't be where I am at today. The hardest thing is not falling off of the wagon. Get all the help you can get and take in all of the support that is given. Have a bad day and want to use...tell your wife ASAP! She may not understand your pain but she can **** sure help you get through the tuff times. My wife has been the best thing that has ever happened to me and she is my rock. She is the reason that I am doing so well this go around. Don't get me wrong, I am doing this because I want to but she is helping me get to my goal of living a sober life. Talk about everything, if you get depressed, call your doctor and talk with them. My doc gave me wellbutrin a couple of months back and it has helped alot and now that I am not taking the pain pills it is really starting to help. Just be strong my friend and know that you are not alone. We have all been there or are there now. Keep posting

9

Thanks a whole lot for the encouragement. I am getting better. I didn't know about the Suboxone, but I somehow managed to get through it. I did tell my wife and it turned out a lot better than I imagined it would. She's helping me a lot to get through this. Most of my withdrawal symptoms are gone now, but it was the worst experience of my life getting through it. I still want a pill, I would love to take one right now, but I know if I do I'll be right back where I was and I don't ever want to go through that again.

I do not think I will relapse honestly. I will stay away from those things just because I'm afraid of going through that mess again. I know you can relate how it feels and it's horrible. I'm having problems with aches and pains that I forgot I had from being doped up all the time and it's hard to fix them with ibuprofen so that's an issue I also imagine will go away eventually or I'll cope with it.

Funny though that I expected once the detox was through I would be 'cured' but I'm finding out that is only the first step. I'm still an addict and that demon is still there.. it's funny how that 'need' is still there begging to be fulfilled but I've only now found the strength to keep it at bay. That in itself is a little scary to think that maybe years will pass and I'll still need to be very conscious about my decision to take meds if I need them to stay out of that pitfall. I'm a little mad at myself for getting in this hole in the first place, but I'm happy that at least I've managed to get this far and I keep pushing forward in this recovery.

Today I worked on my son's car with him and afterward my back was hurting pretty bad. I was at my supplier's house for a bit and I started fiending like Pavlov's dog just being near him. I can't believe how much just seeing that person kicked my addiction need into overdrive. I didn't ask for one, didn't get one... but I had to leave right away. I was literally pacing back and forth just being there. So anyone out there that's listening, a little advice...stay away from places or people that were involved in getting those pills, it can send you into a whole new level of 'need' that you don't want to go through. I have to admit though.. I'm a little proud that I was there and managed to stay sober.

10

We are never cured from this, friend. We only get a daily reprieve.
Start attending NA or AA meetings for the support, even though your ego tells you you don't need it. Get a sponsor, start working through the why's as to why you picked up to begin with and abused the meds. What were you numbing yourself from?
Detox and withdrawal are just a teeny tiny part of the process. Now is when the real work begins. If you don't think you'll relapse, then you know a secret I don't know after all my years of sobriety. If I ever think if I've "got this and now I'm ok", I'm doomed. Don't get complacent; stay vigilant. Your disease is just waiting for you to get weak.
You don't have to take my suggestions, but listen I was out there for 15 years doing it my way. After several arrests, overdoses, ad infinitum. I didn't get three years sober doing nothing but not picking up.
The physical part is over, but now the hard work begins.
Keep posting.

11

It takes courage to admit to yourself you are an addict & more to try to overcome being one, I myself am only in the first steps...take it day by day give it what you have, each day is a new try to remind yourself why your doing it & reach out for help. Let us know how you are doing!

12

Hello, Here goes-I am on day 3 of being clean. I was taking 50 to 100 mg a day of hydrocodone. At first it was from extensive dental restoration, then I was laid off my job after 7 years and then lost my home, and I currently have a 9 year old felony and can't regain employment because of that.So I started using cause it helped cope and made me feel somewhat better, but when you run out it is not a good feeling nor is it a good feeling spending your whole unemployment check on them and couldnt pay my bills.I have told my boyfriend that I was not taking them again and I tried to taper off but that didnt work. Now I have been in bed for 3 days with flu type feelings, cant sleep at night, rls bad, sweats and extremely loose stool.
My boyfriend of 3 years is thinking something is wrong with us and its not us its me, so I'm getting clean. Any advice? How long does the withdrawals last, the worst thing is the restlessness and rls

13

Everyone is different, tgurl. Withdrawals depend on how much, how long, age, well being, etc. The rule of thumb is 72 hours. The worst hitting at the 72 hour mark and then slowly it gets better. The good news is that once it's over, it's over. But, now the hard work begins: staying sober.

I was active in my addiction for 15 years. Started with Vicodin, progressed to OxyContin, then graduated to heroin. I would start and stop over and over again, swearing to NEVER go through the Hell that is withdrawal, pick up and repeat. Using was my answer to everything. It's all I knew. Towards the end, I was averaging 75 pills a day of anything on top of a few bags of smack. My disease told me to lie, steal, trick, pan handle..I became a shell of a person.

Eventually, enough was enough. I'd overdosed so many times, was now a felon, no one trusted me, couldn't hold a real job. My life had become unmanageable. I was slamming over 1000 mgs of opiates a day and didn't have a cold turkey kick left in me. I found a doctor who detoxed me with Suboxone for ten days and immediately started attending nightly AA meetings. I just passed three years of complete sobriety. People trust me, I'm working, rebuilding my life again. You can too.

I could never taper since, well, I'm an addict. I can't control my intake. Have faith in your loved ones; tell them the truth. You are as sick as your secrets. This happens to the best of us. Doesn't mean you're weak; you have an illness. A disease: addiction.

You don't have to live like this anymore. My only question for you is: what are you willing to do to get and STAY sober? If the answer isn't "anything", maybe you need a few more years and a lower bottom?

We are here to help.

14

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