I need advice. For the past week and a day, I have been eating more. It has been REALLY hard, but I know I need to. But, weirdly, I've actually LOST a fairly significant amount of weigt...in a week. And although the ED part of me is happy, I am really discouraged. I am trying really, really hard to do this on my own and avoid going to inpatient. My doctor said last week if I lose X more pounds, she would try to do "everything" she could to make me be admitted (which is INSANE, but whatever). So now I'm only 1.5 pounds away from that...and that scares me a lot. I have already felt the difference too. I have a lot less energy and am really dizzy. And my wedding ring is now so big I can't wear it until I get it resized. I only got married six months ago...Essentially, I am really upset that I am trying so hard and am failing. It feels like I fail at everything. Everything.

My therapist told me this happens a lot to people with EDs. Starting to eat more makes you lose more weight. I guess it's called hypermetabolism? She says I should continue to eat more, but I think I maybe should go back to eating what I was..maybe that would bring my weight back? I know that's probably ED logic, but it makes sense to me. And what if I do eat more and then I become hypometabolic and get really fat? Does this happen? Does anyone know anything about this?

But Chelsea there were a few days last week u didn't eat remember? You're husband was sick and you felt guilty?

Chelsea, this does happen 90% of the time when someone begins to eat again. Your body will burn a lot of calories in an effort to restore bodily functions and weight. Yes, you will have to eat more than you think is possible for a while (but it isn't impossible!), but not forever. Once your body nears the point where it needs/wants to be, your weight will begin to level off, and you can level your calories at more average level. Please don't cut back now.....your metabolism involves all of your bodily functions...FEED them!!
Take care...Jan ♥

i went through that as well for a short time when my mom discovered my anorexia and asked to put on weight again. i had to eat so much to gain but eventually it happened.

keep trying hun. you are not failing, it's just your body working really hard to pick up the functions it was saving on before so you will actually burn more calories.
everything takes a bit of time, especially with ED, so keep doing what you are doing, eat your foods, eat the bar/fruit that you added, add some protein to provide for organs and muscles. you can do it!!


for me im the opposite, than what you described--im going up in weight for no reason at all even though i do tons of excercise and eat healthy all the time. so for me--my metabolism is slowed down significantly from my recent dabblings in ED. i feel awful about it....

i wish i had advice for you---i dont even understand what the hell is going on with my and why my weight is going up and down like a rollercoaster for no reason whatsoever.... i want to get off this ride!

the only thing i can tell you is go to an endicrinologist and get your thyroid checked. thats what i did earlier on in the year when the exact same thing happened to me. my thyroid was ok then. she said though that my metabolism has been affected/hurt/shocked by ED but it will heal itself ONLY IF i stop messing with ED AND eat enough / cut back on working out so much....

i have been so much better with my ED recently, BUT i still relapse and i realized i relapsed kind of 2 weeks ago when the anniverssary of my moms death came along. the funny thing is i didnt know i was messing with ED till this week . i realized exactly WHAT happened and i analyzed exactly what i did. i worked out way more that i actually consumed! but i didnt realize it till i got sick the next week! oh why, WHY does ED still blind me? i feel like i sometimes do it out of sheer habit even though i dont want to ! it makes me feel so bad. it is insane. and now, my stomach is all messed up, my heart keeps palpitating, and my weight is flunctuating.

im quite mad at myself ... but all i can do is move forward. im embarrassed by my recent gain but i have no one to blame but myself. like my endocrinologist said----i can only stabalize my flunctuating weight by not giving into ED behaviors. she said the more i keep messing with ED, the longer it will take for my metabolism to heal. sigh.

i cant help but feel like an idiot. and now, i have to heal myself all over again...

i might have to go see that very doctor soon again...

i wish i had more to offer--but just get your thyroid checked out....


Hmm very interesting Jan, I had no idea this could happen.

hey maureen, well done for realizing your little slip up. did you restrict again during that time?

re your weight gain: are you on any meds? or have you maybe had your hormones checked? they can be very unbalanced during/after ED.
do you try to eat regularly (every 2-3hours) and have a well balanced intake with all macro nutrients? do you drink enough? do you think you take in enough calories especially considering how much you exercise?

dont feel like an idiot, you are certainly not!! you are still healing right now, it's a process but your body can do it and hasn't stop it yet :-)

lots of hugs

nope not on any meds, havent gotten my hormones checked( although i suspect i may have a hormonal inbalance) i do try to eat every 2-3 hours but i dont. and god, i work out too much and dont consume enough for my insane workouts! ahhhhh! geez what the hell. when i really think about it--im screwed!
so NO i do NOT consume enough for my insane workouts. i dont.(sometimes imy IBS hurts so bad i cant eat well) i try to eat well babanced but i do not eat every 2-3 hours ....ughhhh

i am not technically overweight or anything --i am still in the normal range. i just dont like it. heck, this probably is my real weight cause i dont like it. if i did like my natural weight, well ---that would be a first.

but i am flunctuating a lot.

i feel like a dumb idiot ....



stick with it maureen. it does sound a bit as if your metabolism is still not firing properly and your body is in starvation mode.
going through it right now too (plus i still b/p). not been able to lose weight despite low calories and exercise so i know i really messed with my metabolism. but it is reversible. some may need longer than others and especially having suffered from ED for years it may take a while, but do start trusting your body, you too chelsea. keep monitoring but believe that things will go back to 'normal'!!

sending you both all the strength!!

thanks so much maedi--yes i think you are exactly right--my metabolism is not firing properly and yes, i agree my body is in starvation mode ( yet again, real nice maureen)

yes i did hear it is reversible and takes time---to heal. i guess time heals a lot of things...i cant beleive i have to start all over again. i cant beleive it...

thanks so much maedi, your advice really did help me. i totally agree with you...

and this time, i wont screw up...sigh...

i feel like sucha moron though for not seeing things clearly


that's ED for you, messing up our perception not only ex but internally as well. it doesnt make you a moron, it makes you human!
and you're not starting right from the bottom, honey, you're simply continuing your journey. and you are already so close to your ultimate goal, you have already battled so **** hard, the rest will mostly be a stroll!!

love ya

thanks maedi, ha,

i think i so need a new therapist. i am not getting help for my ED with her--i am not getting any better! but i adore her--she is soo sweet! i am beyond sad at this. i feel like i want to look sick to get her attention and have her help me with this but she is not trained in EDs! i am not getting the help i need..and thus ED is seeping in through that cracked door left open....

ugh... the very thought of getting another therapist makes me want to cry. she is so amazing.. but does not know of EDS


you've been saying this for so long, darling, and too that she always ignores when you wanna work on your self image. both are such major factor towards your full recovery.
in the end she is only your therapist, not a real friend in the true sense. and i'm sure that you can find another therapist you really get on with. therapy is about YOU, not her and as a professional she has to understand, should even see herself, when she cannot take you any further. everything else would be selfish on her part!!


yes, you are so smart, maedi....

this is so sad, but i have to come to the realization that--in order for me to get really and fully recovered---i will need to change therapists. god, this makes me beyond sad. i get along with her so well and her price is right! ED therapists are so hard to find. she wants to send me to a outpatient ED clinic at the hospital i go to, but WHY should i have to do that if i HAVE a therapist--why spend money and have to spend even more money for added treatment ? we dont have that type of money as if i saw her and the clinic--it would be tons of money.

sigh...ill have to talk about this to my fiancee and see what we can do. i cannot go on with 20% of ED riding on my back like an evil monkey... i just cant...

thanks again, maedi


I'm glad that this isn't just unique to me. Its just driving me absolutely nuts. Eating this much makes me feel like a gluttonous, lazy pig. Having a really really really hard time not restricting to make up for it. I feel more and more like **** and worthless as I eat more..can't stand this anymore...

i so know how it feels chelsea. try to focus on the bigger picture though, your full recovery and absence from this ******* ED. you are NOT any of those thinggs you just said. this is once again ED trying to brainwash you. but you know better than this and you are so much stronger than he is!!!

hang in there sweetie!

I'm determined I'm pretty much a failure. Sounds dramatic, but I am. I used to have bad eating habits and was obese (failure to eat normally and be healthy) then went on a diet and lost too much and now I have an eating disorder (failure to lose a normal amount of weight and maintain a healthy, stable weight). Now I'm trying to gain weight to avoid having to go inpatient and I'm actually losing (failure to be able to do this on my own). And I feel like my metabolism is going to soon turn the other way and I'll gain a lot become a fat pig again, another failure. Ugh.

Chelsea, are you still losing?

Yeah, a little bit more. And I'm eating soooo much I think

I've gained. A LOT. And im eating less then i ever have :(