I almost wrecked my car twice today. i am emotionally drained

well i went to my aunts today because in my heart i felt i needed to go see her and i knew i should stay home and clean house but i kept on driving she lives half and hour from me. my aunt had a few months ago and she barely made it. she had a heart attack from it and different things. her body swelled so bad she looked like she was pregnant. when i saw her today her stomache is swollen again and starting to do the same thing it was doing. she said her heart is hurting again. this woman raised me since i was born til i was five and my mom took me away from her. my aunt was going to adopt me. i shouldnt be here today. my mom was going to have an abortion because i wasnt the girl she wanted. my aunt talked her into having me by saying that she would take me. there is just so much there. :'(

Oh Foxy, what a lot of sadness in your post. I'm so glad you went to see your aunt — that's much more important than cleaning house! But do be careful: when we're sad, distracted by worries or feeling stressed, we are at higher risk of accidents, and then life can get really complicated. So take care of yourself, so you can take care of your aunt, too.
Best wishes —

i meant to put she has cancer. i took a nap because i was weak thought i was going to puke and getting a headache. the only reason why my mom wanted me was because i was about to go into kindergarten and she was afraid the state would come after her for not having me.my mom is rediculously fearful of child services. she likes to hurt people to she is vindictive. she told my aunt she was just going to take me home for my birthday and bring me back on a monday and she said ok and monday came and she never brought me so my aunt went to her house and she told her i wasnt going back and i saw her and started running for her calling her momma and my mom knocked me in the head down the driveway and she told my aunt to leave or she would do it again. at that time i thought she was my real momma because she saved my life and was there when i was born and raised me the first five years. she wanted to adopt me. my mom didnt want me when she was pregnant because i wasnt her boy :(

dear Ashley, my heart goes out to you on this. you have been through so much in your life and you are an amazing survivor! i just want to tell you this and urge you to keep on the path that you are on towards personal growth developing peace of mind and wellness of body and soul. because of your suffering know that your angels are watching over you carefully and today is a good example. God bless your aunt and i will keep you both in my prayers. your auntie must love you very much and you her. what a touching story thank you for sharing it with us. love, from your prayer warrior

i am so sorry you went throught that today, I will be praying for you and your aunt. its great to be rised by someone who loves you.


thanks ladies and thanks dare. you are truly right i never thought of it that way she did give me a gift that nobody could ever have given me, she gave me a chance at life. my mom is an idiot everything you said was well put. you are so sweet and i dont mind being took under your wing. :) my mom actually used to cut my hair like a boys because she didnt want to help me take care of it and i would get heat rash in the summer. kids used to make fun of me at school and make me cry and call me a boy. but now my hair is long and im keeping it for momma.

thank you dare and you are absolutely right :) you are such a lovely person and are very smart. you have opened my eyes on alot of things. right now were trying to figure out how we are going to have christmas at my sisters house because our other sister is with a pervert and i dont want to be around him. but getting those two to seperate is gonna be the problem. funny thing is he said if i was there they wouldnt be there for christmas but in truth he is wishy washy so he would probably show up. so we are trying to figure out what we are going to do.

dare i smiled at the bug part. lmbo. you sure do know how to make me smile. glad you got your sister and are enjoying eachothers company :) you distracted me in a good way on this situation by making me feel better. thank you

Ashley, you have the most beautiful hair and i love it long around your face like that. i am appalled by your mom cutting it short like that and giving you up and taking you back. i didn't think things like that still happened in this world! yours is a tragic story and i cannot stop wondering how you survived and i know that you wish your mom still loved you, but Ashley, she probably is not capable at this point and i am really sorry! i finally let my mom go and she had to make a lot of changes before i went back to her in a relationship! love, maria

thanks maria i appreciate that and your support as well :) dare you are making me hungry lol, i want some goodies. :) glad you and your sister are having a good time.

lol dare