NEED ADVICE: I always feel the need to buy something for my mom whenever I go shopping. If I don't I feel really bad and selfish, I'm able to buy what I like now, now that I'm finding out what I actually like. But I still feel the need to give to her: I've made posts about how shes used my money on my bank card and put my in a -$2 balance. When I wad like 18 she gave me a Visa card to do online holiday shopping for myself but ended up taking ir for herself for gas money instead and I never got to buy anything. Now that I'm older with my own money I still feel the need to give it her and if I don't I beat myself up and like I said, I'll feel selfish. I guess I just wanna be a good daughter.
That's normal to want to be a good daughter. There are many ways to be a good daughter altho maybe u and your mom are in a pattern of showing love that way (?)
I know u have issues with the push/pull. Healthy/unhealthy relationship and things she does or ways she treats u...
Sooooo it sounds like u can take time to think about all the ways to be kind or show love...
Whenever your mom does anything u like (she is thoughtful etc??) then let her know it means a lot. You can do something for her...(u fill in the blank) and see how it is received....
Your thoughts?
@NCMom I’ve told her I’m proud of her and say thank you but shes a still faced person who doesn’t show much. There have been times ive said I love you and she doesn’t say it back or doesn’t say it so that I hear her. so either way is people pleasing with her and ir gives me a headache. Im more affectionate than het and my brother sho they make ir seem like im soft. She’ll get upset at times when I but her something. Ivr given het compliments that she took well but yeah I never know from her. I just needed advice on not feeling guilty if I choose not to buy her something. Money makes her happy, she’d deny it probably I’ve grown up around that type of money loving behavior or catering to get emotions