I am 30 year old women with 3 beautiful little girls. I have been suffering from bulimia for the past 21 years of my life. At 9 years old it was never about controlling my weight, just a way to deal with my problems. Throughout my adolescence and early adult hood my bulimia's focus took many different roles. It “helped” me lose weight, provided a stress relief, allowed me to eat whatever I wanted when ever I wanted with little change to my appearance. It has consumed me, and because of it I have never truly known my true potential, my ability to be a healthy, happy person in all aspects of my life. Today I have been beige and purge free for 26 days. I have made changes in my life that I hope to maintain, that will allow me to one day live without the shame, and self hate I have for so many years. Bulimia will one day no longer own me. But it will not come easy or without a fight. So I ask for your support, and I promise in return to lend an ear, a honest disposition and only positive feed back. I am in a great place in my life, and will only allow my self to improve. So here is what I have done to help in my 26 days beige/purge free: Tossed out the scale (I know very scary thought, but I know with out this step I wouldn't be this far) I have chose to focus on health not numbers; Keep a food journal as well as annotate every time I felt like purging. I go back and try and avoid those situations in the upcoming days; 100% avoid trigger foods, 21 years of dangerous behavior is not going away overnight, I have to know my limits; Exercise, I signed up for a half marathon. Because I am active and not eating horrible foods I have been able to stay focused on my health apposed to focusing on my weight. This is my journey to recovery, I would love to hear from others going through the same thing, as well as what has worked for you. This has been the hardest thing I have ever done, but I want to be around for my children, I want to be that positive role model they can look up to.
Thanks for listening
Wow, bravo my dear, talk about taking the bull by the horns! It sounds like you are making some very hard changes, the only thing I would add is to consider therapy, like you said this a 21 year addiction and addiction is an ingrained, established pattern. Also, celebrate the good days, like 26 days free of bingeing and purging, but if and when there is a time you fail, don't take this as anything more than a stumble, get right back up and start at day 1. We are here for you!
Hugs-
CK
thanks!!! although I have told a few (2) people about it, I still feel very alone. its such a taboo issue it tends to get sweept under the rug when I bring it up. It sucks because it took me so long to get to this point, to talk.....I would love therapy, unfortunately its not an option at this point. our insurance is so expensive. but I really do appreciate you replying back to me.
Yes agree in addition to this support group counseling to help you keep up with your eating schedule would benefit you greatly. Good for you for wanting to take your life under control. You go Girl. Girl Power to the End.) We will be here anytime you need us.
Maybe check to see if a counselor would consider you making payments. However we can help let us know. Keeping a food journal would be go writing everything you have to eat and successfully eating food healthy might be a good way to start.