I am a 71 year old female who has been stealing since Kindergarten. I am disgusted with this compulsion but can never seem to permanently stop. I often stop for a while but have such a huge urge to steal that I go back to stealing. I can afford the items but still continue to steal. I recognize that my behavior is wrong and need help. I cannot do this alone.
It is significant that you recognize that you can't do this alone. Since you have been dealing with this for some time, have you worked with a counselor to try to determine what causes this compulsion? And what have you done in past times which has allowed you to be successful in overcoming the compulsion for those lengths of time?
@kvolm2016 Thank you for your comment. I have an appointment with a psychotherapist this week to seek the help I need and address some life issues that I have yet to deal with. I have looked deep into my faith for strength but struggle with that also. Intellectually I realize what I do is so wrong but can never seem to get full control of my stealing. I am a work in progress.
I also struggle tremendously with my faith or lack thereof. This is huge for me but will address this also. So many of my current issues go back to my very dysfunctional childhood. I understand intellectually but still cannot seem to process internally.
well it’s definitely hard to reconcile fully trusting/having faith in God when we are still carrying scars from childhood. I hope you will find that the psychotherapist is able to help you move past those scars and into more healing. In my experience, healing and faith are both increased slowly over time but they do increase together. Do you have other people around you that share your same faith that can be a source of support and encouragement?
I have many people in my life that have great faith but I myself can't seem to find mine. My son is the only one that knows of my struggles with stealing and my faith. I am involved in community and have a great support system. I feel that this is my struggle. I know I have choices but my urges/desires seem to overcome me and take over. My childhood was very dysfunctional but that no longer exists, only the memories which I know can't hurt me any longer intellectually but emotionally still affect me. I am a work in progress.
very glad to hear that you do have the community support. That is so valuable!
If you don’t mind talking about it, how do you define “great faith”? What do you see in those people that you feel you are lacking?
The religion I was taught as a child was a fire and brimstone type of Christianity which requires faith and believing that Jesus is the only way to have everlasting life. What I see in other Christians is a faith based life. To just believe. This troubles me greatly as it is dependent on an unseen faith. This is where I fall short. I find it extremely difficult to understand and accept what I was taught. I believe that this life is not all we get and I want to believe in the Trinity but find I keep questioning my lack of faith. I often feel that I am not worthy or deserving of God's love. I am a good person in so many ways but struggle with my desire to steal, my faith and issues from my past. I'm trying to move past these things that haunt me. Meeting today with my therapist. Hopefully will get some insight. Thank you for your responses. They are helping.
I hope your time with your therapist on Thursday was helpful! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on faith. It is such a broad topic that it often feels difficult for me to grasp what another person thinks/feels unless they can explain or define it for me. Though I am from a different era of Christian teaching than the “fire and brimstone” style, it seems to me that message was too heavy on the judgment of God and too light on the mercy and unconditional love of God. Who would be drawn to having faith in or wanting to be in a relationship with a God that is condemning of all of our short-comings? This perception of God would absolutely make me struggle with my faith! I have found that it is important to be careful whose teaching of God we accept so that we are getting an accurate depiction of who God is according to what is recorded in the Bible. I had significant issues with trusting God based on the dysfunction of my childhood but having learned to see who God is according to the descriptions of Him in the Bible has helped my trust and faith tremendously. Do you spend much time reading the Bible?