I am an enabler

I have been codependent a long time, I struggle with emotional duress that my adult kids want to live with there dad.I had to let them go so they could grow.That hasn't happend as planned. Their dad is codependent to. I hurt so bad without them.I see they are content and I feel I don't count anymore. I gave them my life and they seem to not care. I know it's in my head I know that they want to be twenty somethings but as the one who actually got them up for school, work and helped them daily it is misery not to be a part anymore. I feel abandoned and alone for the first time in my life.

Wilted Kitty ... you are not alone.

My daughter has done the same. I raised her by myself since she was 7 months old. She just turned 18. I feel like I am being rejected by her.

However, in order for her to grow she has to do this too. She needs to resolve whatever it is within her and see the "light."

I highly doubt your kids mean any harm or disrespect. This is just a normal thing for them to do. They have to find out for themselves.

Just take incredible pride in the fact that you were there for them when it counted. Also, you can take pride in that you will continue to be there for them in the future, as well.

And, sooner than later .... they will come back to you in a new way.

This "empty nest" feeling will slow fade. It might help to get involved in some new activities. You might want to look at volunteering or meeting new people.

Here are two links that might be useful:



I do understand and see your point. I am not ready for that yet, trying to get mentally stable first. I have had many changes over the last few years and even more in the last few months my head isn’t on straight. I have blocked myself in so much there is no light. Thats why I came to this sight. I am seeking a help out side soon.

Gotcha. Take your time. Do what you can when you are ready.

Oh, I don't think anyone has their head on straight. I know I sure don't. :)

Just remember you are not alone. And, we are for you.

Thank you

I think being in a Codependent support group alone is probably the best Idea anyone ever came up with. After all you are dependent on others what better way to change yourself.

Hey Wilted, it took me 2yrs. working w/myself to STOP thoses feelings you described.