I am ashamed to say I still haven't gone no contact. I need help, I just can't let go...I know, what I fool I am to think it's could be wrong that somehow I can fix this or that he really loved me. I just can't bring myself to do it and I still miss him and keep writing these long texts basically trying to prove my worth. I'm so sad I can't love myself enough to stop. He has total control over me. :(
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Do you feel you are just not ready to go no contact? what would have to happen for you to feel able to do so? Is there perhaps a middle ground, or a babystep where you might not need to go no contact, but to start working on your self worth?
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@Aura82 I have blocked him on all social media but I can’t resist replying to the text messages. That’s the one thing I can’t do.
Oceanheart, do not be afraid.I'm having the same issue. I'm not sure what to do or how. Mostly afraid of being hurt and alone. But at same time I am alone. One day we will fine the courage. Hope sooner than later. We deserve to be happy and to be loved.
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@Confused76 so true. I need to cut off my phone and change my number that’s the one thing I can’t do because I am dumb enough to think there’s a chance I’m wrong about him and he does love me? Crazy, I know…
Having the same problem here! I am a researcher and recently found out after 8 years he is a narcissist. It's a really rough road! I have co.e to realize he did or does love me, which is extremely rare! I somehow was able to break down his walls, but the minute I broke up with him, he put them back up! Told me I crushed him! I feel as though I let him down, but I also know that I didn't even know what I was dealing with either! He also has his own blame, which he won't admit to. He should Ya e treated me better! I would have done anything for him, if I had only gotten the respect I deserved. We will again one day find happiness, we just need to realize we were manipulated and lied to.
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@Rachele that really hits home with me. Mine loves me too, I know it but same scenario blames me for crushing him because I wasn’t perfect enough. Ridiculess expectations, lives in his own world of fantasy and I didn’t live up to his screenplay so I was banished from his kingdom where he dwells in utter dismay never to love again…(yes, he talks like that and he’s that dramatic) its mind boggling really…he disrespected me too and made me feel like I should grovel at his feet.
honestly, it's baby steps. I'm 10 days no contact right now.. I'm trying. I know what you mean. all those feelings :(
don't blame yourself. it isn't your fault. they carefully orchestrated to make it happen like this... :( *hugs* talk to us when you feel the urge to reply.
i'm getting i miss you texts.. and then.. of all the nerve.. the "why won't you reply to me?" texts. as if.
https://youtu.be/hz0llA3imBk
"stop asking.. you know all the reasons why,"
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@empatheticsoul thank you. As I read this, I feel like I can breathe again. I will come here and talk to you instead. <3
@tabbylady thank you I will read it. I just can’t believe people exist that can fake love like that. It scares me that they can be so cold and cruel.
Oceanheart - take these really long texts and create yourself a lovesick and ANONYMOUS blog. There's no reason to deny your feelings, but also no reason to send them to him. If you did, it only reinforces the contempt phase which you are sure to experience. Use your phone, block his number. Talking will feel good for a few minutes but bring you heartloads more pain.
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It's just so hard. He is now trying to get to me through my friends and family.
My Sisters get it. They have cut him off completely but my friends fall for his manipulation and charm. They end up actually defending him and taking his side. It's shocking to me.
Mine plays the broken hearted victim so they all fall for his violin playing sadly in the background then they say well he obviously still loves you and cares deeply about you so it tugs at my heart strings but then he crushes me all over again and goes silent treatment/punishment again. I feel like a fool and then I become physically ill over it. I feel like I can't escape it.
@Yellowrose10 they don’t believe me. They think I’m the one that needs counseling and he’s just very hurt. They start to understand where he’s coming from and say things like “he’s a lot like me” it’s baffling really how good he is at this.
Thank you so much <3 he's calling me a liar now...he's the liar :(
@Oceanheart
My ex made me look like such a fool to his friends and family. He never stuck up for me and kicked me when I was down every time and the craziest part of all…I go back to him every time with a simple phone call. I need to stick with counseling. I also need to resume no contact. I’m on now because I wanted to text him but stopped myself.
:(((
That's okay> i got an email today blasting me about how ****** i am because I'm ignoring her. she is losing her mind over it. baby steps!
@tabbylady - And the horrific stories of abuse just continue to roll in, don’t they? And the narcs that cause all this pain and suffering continue to stand tall and defend their “victimless” pursuit of personal independence and fun…
I had a thought about a plot for a new movie: “Zombies Vs. Narcs”. In my screenplay the smug, self-assured narcs think they’re masters of their universe, until the zombies, who can sense narcissism, begin to stalk and kill the narcissists, then eat them. As they leave what’s left of the narcs’ bodies, they pull out a Dinner-For-Two gift certificate at Ruth’s Chris or another steak house and kindly hand it to the narc’s latest victim, with the zombie’s compliments. Everybody is a winner!
Bwahahahahahahah!!!
I don't blame you, he deserves to be punched in the face so it can bruise his giant ego.