I am currently feeling heartbroken and at a loss. I have inc

I am currently feeling heartbroken and at a loss. I have incessantly been on and off abused by my parents and sister my whole life. I hadto go N/C with my sister which I feel my mom resents me for. With my husband being in school, and me being unemployed we had moved back home as my parents had offered. My mom is now continuously lashing out at me and my husband. Going as far as to say things like "get out of my house." and even physically hitting me. I yell back because I get angry for her to stop and for her to see how much this hates me. But then I am only gaslit by both of my parents saying that I am always disrespectful. For years I have been called this so today I finally told my dad that I do not feel like this home is a safe space anymore. They constantly throw back that we live under their roof back at me. Meanwhile I am not able to maintain my boundaries. I finally told my dad today that if they cannot stop lashing out at me when they are anxious, I will have no choice but to break away only to be told "well I do not think we can do that." I think he told my mom because she made it a point to walk past my room talking to her dog saying in the happiest tone possible, "I am so happy I have a good girl like you." I am just done, we have no money to move out because he is in school and I am still trying to find work. It hurts me that every single time my mom lashes out at me I am the one that has to apologize to. "make the peace." My dad even told me that I just need to start acting like I am walking on egg shells around her so I dont set her off. I feel so isolated that my whole family treats me so poorly. But I am getting so close to going no contact with my parents once we leave since they have never considered my feelings or respected my boundaries. Thank you to whoever reads this, I just feel so alone.

1 Heart

been there.
I was finally able to move. Never talked to or saw them again. Was the only solution for me.

You are not dealing with reasonable people. So the rational steps you take to get them to understand won't work.
In my opinion, you need to go somewhere else.
Maybe a friend's or another family member's?
Since there is physical abuse involved. It's even more urgent you get out of there!

2 Hearts

@Inmylittlerroom yeah we’re currently looking into it. Unfortunately there are really no places my husband and I can stay. I plan on saving as much money as I can and hoping a nearby apartment opens up. Unfortunately there aren’t many units available in my area either.