I am feeling overwhelmingly lonely. I left my husband in Apr

I am feeling overwhelmingly lonely. I left my husband in April of 2012. We tried dating but he said if he had to choose between me and his addictions he chose addictions. Divorced in August 2015. I was so busy trying to handle his bad behavior, not paying the bill's, him letting the truck get repossessed and then he didn't pay house payment and house got foreclosed. I didn't even know he was behind on payments till it was too late. Plus I was getting our daughter through college and son lives with me. Absolutely no financial help from him. But now all the stress is over and he got married in Feb. He seems to have settled a bit now that he is remarried but I am still single and starting to feel very lonely. So I thought I would join a group so I can quit whining to people who don't understand because they are married.

3 Hearts

I'm so sorry you went through this. It sounds a lot like my husband. Time to start focus on yourself, dress sexy, new hair color and start dating. Just be careful with your heart. The last thing you want is to get hurt now. Just have fun. Life is too short!

1 Heart

Thank you. I'd love to hear your experience. I dated a guy for 6 months. Turned out to be very similar to my ex. I am highly attracted to narcissists. So until I can stop then I have no business dating.

We all whine here so have at it. That's what we do. lol I was married for almost twenty years and in May of 2016 I don't know WTF happened but my wife beat our thirteen year old son into the emergency room, our eight children were taken from us, we spent $50,000 fighting to get our children back. Two of them were foster children we were going to adopt (one we had from birth to two) and we will never see the little one again. Then my wife started an affair in Jan 2017, abandoned me and the six remaining kids from April 2017 to December 2017, then came back and got two restraining orders on me saying I punched her in the face but thankfully the kids were witnesses and came to testify on my behalf so I got off of those. (I've NEVER laid a finger on this woman) She swore up and down she wasn't having an affair and filed for divorce January 2018, got her divorce June 2018 and two weeks later the guy she "WASN'T" having an affair with started spending the night with her and my children as "the boyfriend." Kids weren't fooled. I certainly wasn't fooled. I gave her every opportunity under the sun to correct all of this but just two days ago she told me I'm wrong and she never cheated. I don't believe her and I don't trust her. I'm ready to move on after two years of this hell.

@eddie1975 that sounds so painful. People don’t realize love is a choice. Sorry for what you are going through. Cheaters and lying tends to go hand in hand. But that also sounds like she was on some drug or something to change her that drastically.

So, I totally feel sorry for his new wife. If he hasn't stopped drinking, she'll be going thru the same bee ess. : ( So sad.

Hi @Hopeandjoy, being lonely after you lived with someone can be very, very hard, but I've come to understand that we, divorcees, need time to heal and fall in love with ourselves again. That time is different for every person and if you feel like you need more time to figure out why you are attracted to narcissists (and start avoiding them), it might be good for you to wait a little while longer. In the mean time I believe it's very important to cultivate your social life and do things that are important to you and make you feel good. It's surprising how easy we forget to take care of ourselves in detriment of others, and when we do that we might hurt ourselves and the people we love.

1 Heart

We all get it. Its not terribly bad with me as my higher power and some friends help but no real sense of home like I had before. Maybe one day......

Great screen name the middle name of two of my daughters. The others are grace and faith......

1 Heart

I am very sorry you are feeling lonely. Sometimes I feel lonely too even though I'm surrounded by people. Thank you for being brave and sharing your post here. I am thankful that you have 2 children in your life. That is a blessing! I'm sorry your husband let all those horrible things happen to you. Hang in there!!!

1 Heart

You are in my prayers

1 Heart

Hi there, wondering if life has been ok up until now? Did the loneliness just get stirred up since he got married? Sometimes self pity can creep in there too. Has the last five years been full of life for you? Travel? Lots of good times with family and friends? All the things you love to do?
Sorry for all the questions. Just trying to understand the situation. I do understand your loneliness. It is real. I have been there. A dear mentor friend of mine suggested to me that the only relief for loneliness is to reach out to someone else......visit a sick friend, make a phone call of encouragement, write a note of caring to someone who needs it. I know it's the last thing on earth you feel like doing but it takes your mind off yourself for awhile. Surprisingly it seemed to help! Love will find you again one day. Until then, be the best version of yourself you can be. Live life to the fullest. Be content in your singleness. He has moved on. You can move on too. I truly am rooting for you! Be kind to yourself. Give yourself a lot of grace. Everyday is a special gift to unwrap!