I am in need of help

I am new here and to be honest I really need some help. I have been married for 10 years and my wife and I have been working on getting help for our issues and just from out of the blue I came home and found my things outside. She refuses to talk to me and I have no idea what happened. She and I have been working hard at repairing this and not a day before she was saying how much closer to me she felt and then this. I am losing my mind. My whole world is crashing down and I am so lost and have no one to talk to. Someone please help me.

Welcome to SupportGroups.com, you'd mentioned both of you were working on getting help, not sure if you meant you both are currently in therapy/counseling for issues.

If you think about it & WHAT the issues are then I'm sure you may be capable of piecing the puzzle together as to what happened.

Sometimes when one starts to really look within through therapy/counseling (walking through the wreckage) & really sees the impact of what has happened or been happening/caused they become overwhelmed w/feelings or unsure of what they are really trying to accomplish in the relationship long term & need to take alot of things into acccount & that takes time/patience, so in not knowing your situation then its difficult to say.

April

My wife has cheated on my twice with her ex boyfriend. I have forgave her both times. The last time she started seeing a counsellor and I agreed to go also because I love her and wanted this to work.As I stated before I didnt see any warning signs that this was coming.She sat me down and told me how much better she felt about us and how she knew things were going to be ok and we had a very long heartfelt talk and the next day she and I talked off and on all day with no signs of anything. I get home and all of my things are outside and I have no clue what changed.

Hi rob! And welcome to support groups! I'm sorry you're going thru this tuff time. Are you sure there isn't someone else in your wife's life? Only she can tell you what changed. I hope you will see a counselor. Maybe they can help you figure out what you need to do now. I wish you the best. Keep posting here. We care!!

She in now come to me with she is tired of the responsibilities of marriage and wants us just to date each other and have fun and enjoy being with each other and not date anyone else.How in the h*ll am i suppose to do handle that being that I am so in love with her and how can she? I love her so much I am willing to do anything to save this but I am so confused on what to do.

Would be wise to have a heart to heart w/her & do your best to become a BOYFRIEND while staying married. A Boyfriend IS more attentive, interested in her life, full of "Hey honey lets take a ride here" & on the other end a same surprise awaits....maybe a wonderful dinner... maybe a whatever she likes, maybe flowers JUST BECAUSE & not just in a blue moon but 5 or 6 times/yrs just because you love her, little kisses on her neck (not for sex though). Usually the only reasons people have affairs is because they arent getting their needs met EMOTIONALLY & feel the grass IS greener, usually IT ISNT,so until the person is willing to look within as to what THEY are seeking from a relationship you've got alot of WHAT IFS around the corner to be figured through & answered. May I ask what you feel in your heart that would be adding to her desiring someone else???? What needs arent being met????? Talk to her.

We're here to listen anytime you feel like talking.

Take care of you.

April

p.s. Women should be a GIRLFRIEND to their husbands too in a marriage.