I am looking to talk to spouses of addicts how have you talked to your children about the addiction? my kids are 9 and 12 not sure where to turn or how to talk to them. my husband is out of the house recently and I am not sure how to hold it all together and support them at the same time.
Hi there, my husband is an addict and has been since we got together. Our children are 2 1/2 and 1. They know when there is something "wrong" with daddy (when he is high) but they don't understand whats going on or why. I have tried to get him to get clean for himself and for our children. I have thought about what I am going to have to say to my children as they get older, and all of them start with "daddy has a problem". I keep telling myself that I can't hep someone who doesn't want to be helped or help themselves. As a parent it is your job to protect the children, not your spouse. My husband will go so far as to do line's of cocaine in our bathroom and try to carry on taking care of our children. 1 thing I know for sure is to make sure the children know that the addiction is no their fault. Nothing the children did or do has caused their parent to be an addict, and unfortunately nothing they do is going to change it. I hope all goes will, and I hope you and your children can find peace.
Thank you. I have been dealing with this for just over 11 years now. My husband went into rehab 8 years ago was clean for awhile but I never felt like it was over the addict traits were always there. He has now relapsed and I have removed him from the home. Protecting the kids is my number one priority. It was easier when they were little but your right they always know when something is wrong with daddy, I use to focus on saving him which as you know is impossible now I have come to peace that he can only do that and all I need to do is make the right decisions for me and the kids as hard as those may be sometimes. I will likely sit down this weekend with the kids and talk to them some more. Right now they think Daddy is sick and needs sometime to get better. I think they need more than that explanation. Thanks for listening.
@bellacat0916 you’re not wrong by telling your kid’s that daddy is sick. Daddy is sick, it’s just not the normal sick. I can’t imagine going through all this for 11 years, it takes a strong person to stick with someone that long through addiction. My husband went out last night on a binder and is currently sleeping (it’s 1:30pm) and I am having to keep our children out of the bedroom, for the first couple days after he is very angry and aggressive. I really hope all goes well when you talk to your children this weekend, and I hope talking to them puts your mind in a bit of ease. Best of luck, and stay strong for you and your babies! I’ll be sending positive thoughts and prayers your way!
I found this article about talking to children about addiction that I think may help you. https://www.heysigmund.com/talking-to-children-about-addiction/
You are stronger than you feel. Take one day at a time...and I am truly sorry for what you are going through.
@PieceByPeace thank you it is a good article thank you for your positive thoughts.