I am now 20 years old and have always struggled with my sexuality. I have dated a girl since I was in 10th grade and now I'm through my 2nd year of college. We are married now and my struggle is getting more difficult. I love her so much but am not sexually attracted to her because I like the same sex. I wish I didn't sometimes but then sometimes I don't. I want to embrace who i am but don't know how to without losing my life. Being gay was always looked down upon from my family and friends. Even though most of my friends have had gay experiences. I am scared I would lose everyone. My wife knows a little about it but I don't feel like I am accepting of myself. Life does not seem fulfilling. Some days I have mood swings bad and suicide is a re occurring thought. In my current state of mind I know that is a horrible decision but when I get depressed it seems like the only one that makes sense. It doesn't seem like there is a right decision. If I embrace being gay I would lose my wife and family. If I keep hiding it might go crazy.
It will be worst if u keep hiding it because ur not only hunting them but yourself and the people around you hey you are who you are and there is nothing in this world more beautiful than been yourself they are your family and your friends they will accept you for who you truly are ,you are beautiful ,be positive
In this life happiness is a necessity, and everyone deserves it. You deserve to be as happy as your friends and family. You deserve to be yourself, freely. You deserve to live, because either decision you make will lead to loss, but only one leads to you losing. I believe at some point most people have thoughts of suicide, but the good thing is things can always be worked out.
People truly care and love you won't leave because of your sexual orientation. If you keep hiding from who you are it would only bring your more pain :( BUT if it will be dangerous to come out I mean the people would attack you or bully you then you should think twice about coming out or not. But I would like you to embrace yourself at first to truly accept yourself for who you are :) Love yourself please? And what you are doing, hurt yourself and your family. Have you been thought it would been unfair for your wife too? She deserves someone love her through body to soul and same for you :)
Wow, I understand. I never had a girlfriend because Im not sexually attracted to girls. I can see girls and so but Im not sexually attracted. Suicide and escape are thoughts in my mind. Im scare because I never thought in this before. Im so scared to death so I know I will not commit it. Its really hard. Im 20 also and since I was 10 or 11 i was asking myself If Imight be gay but my family is so homophobic.
Initially my step-father was homophobic but has become more accepting. My mother was sad, but now she and my step-father love my girlfriend. You definitely have a choice to make, but the first thing to work on is self-love so you may embrace who you are. This will prepare you for your next step. Only you will know when it's right and what to do.
If u are not sexual attracted to her but u love her you are considered asexual , don't worry about it everything is going to be ok. I doubt you will leave her because you love her
The longer you wait, the worse the issue becomes. Get out now, you have your whole life ahead of you. Be happy, life is too short, be true to yourself.