I am ok today, I also realized that my husband and abuser is nothing more than a roommate who shares our house. He always sits in the office, when he is hungry he makes himself a snack and a coffee and returns with it to the office. He goes where he wants and stay's along he wants, he has no Job right now and I am not so sure he wants one. He would lose control. When he is tired he goes to bed without saying a word. I am sure I could count the Words being spoken to me during the day. He never takes me out anywhere. He doesn't like spending money on me but does pay for lunch when he goes with his friend. We do not have joined accounts but he has his own. Yes I do have a card but I have to ask if I need money from this account. He pay's all the bills and rubs it in whenever he can. He hasn't lovingly touched me since 6 month and I am just waiting and seeing where this is going. I need to bloody wake up already and see what is going on. But most of the time I am so tired physically and mentally from going through this, I just like to sit in my chair with a coffee and be.
this is not a healthy relationship for u at all. he no right to be controlling over u , u need to start working on doing things to get out of the relationship and away from him. u deserve to be happy. I know where u r coming from and it will be seven years this year I have my freedom . it was the best thing I have ever did. I made it and so can u. be positive and be strong.
I fear of being alone and yet I am married and I am alone how crazy is my mindset....
i agree. what i mean is i am also married i will be married four years this October. my husband is a truck driver he is gone weeks at a time. I am alone a lot so in the mean time I have a lot of things to keep me busy like yard work, daily household chores, I have two dogs that I feeds and take care of, I have two kids who are 22 and 21 years old, I also have a grandson who I spend a lot of time with, but I also have five projects that I am working on too, I do needle work , I go to the park, I go to different events that go on in the area that I live. I deal with ptsd, loneness and depression. so I know that it is hard to be alone but u have to make friends, go to family house to visit. and if u go to church do that it all helps. we r here for u to talk to and for support.
Yea family house visits is a nice one, but I don't have family here. And friends, well all the women I met are married with kids. And again others are with husband and have the same going on. I am living in NZ and here are more sheep and cows than people. The people are closed up and living for themselves, I don't even know my neighbors personally.
The crazy thing is I don't know what to do, go or stay. He say's he loves me but doesn't want to make love to me. He doesn't do anything with me, not even going to church with me. I don't know what to do or how to react and he always gives all the fault to me. It is my fault that we don't have sex. How is this my fault if he doesn't show any love to me.
@Faith52 none of this is your fault. take it from me — u will be much happier if he was not around. I want u to be happy. I live in the usa. once I left and got my driver id I was happy. I got my freedom and I am so much happier. I am able to be myself and do the things that I want to do, see u want to see, go places that I want to go ect. when I got into another relationship I had some rules that I wanted in my new relationship and if those rules did not apply then the relationship was gone. I knew from the start when I left it was going to be hard but I am a very strong will person I knew I will make it and I did. if u r not pleased or happy and he is not being the husband that u want him to be then by all means leave him. u deserve better . be happy for u and who u are as a person. there is someone out there who is much better for u.
This is abuse both emotional and verbal. With holding sex. All abuse. I stayed in a 10 marriage where the last 6 years were without sex. Every time I would ask he would say my fault cuz I didn't want it. Not true. I would threaten to leave and he would beg he would change. After 6 years of no sex I finally left. I had experienced physical, verbal, emotional abuse in my first marriage. I really at the time didn't realize this was abuse also.
@PTSD u r so very right. i went through then same thing in my second marriage. I am so much happier now.
I go into panic attacks too over small things it messes up my day