I am really insane, or THEY are

People tell lies, everyone does. And sometimes people tell lies so much they actually believe their lies. Now i never been good at dating. I mean i have extreme highs and extreme lows, and im pretty much impossible to put up with, lol. And to add to that i dont pick the best ones, so that dont make it none too easy either. But when you know that someone is lying, and they try to make you believe that your the crazy one ( and alot of guys do this) it can drive you mad! Now although there may not be physical evidence in hand, but things seem to add up, and you gut just knows, you know. They say you should always listen to your gut. But can your gut be wrong? can i be thinking these people are lying and they are really telling the truth? Its driving me crazy

If you try to bear the full burden of truth and lies on yourself, you will eventually feel you're the only one. I'll be honest with you here, it isn't truth or lies you are being bother with -I think- but trust. It's okay for people to lie, not everyone is honest and sometimes the can't be. Some people need their secrets, and some people just aren't ready to tell the truth. However, every relationship is built on trust. That is the foundation. If you are unwilling to trust someone until proven wrong, you give them no benefit of the doubt and brand them a liar before you even begin. You begin to scrutinize every word of every conversation, every look, every gesture. Eventually you become so convinced there is something there... you find it.

As they say, it takes two. It isn't good to expect someone to be completely honest if you yourself are not- do you reveal you are bi polar right after you say 'hello!'? It takes time to build trust, but there is always some leeway there in the whole beginning. Everyone is putting their best foot forward, and getting out there into the world means you are exposing yourself to lies and being hurt. However, if you go out there expecting everyone to hurt you, you'll never really be out there. You'll just be stomping around in armor daring people to get close to you.

So, sadly, though our guts and minds may say -this person is hiding something- it is alright to let them keep their secrets. Let them be at their own pace. Judge not by what a person doesn't say, but what they do say- and remind them you trust them and are open to them. BUT. yes. do be on guard for the obvious things that can harm you. Don't seek them out, like say, snooping or watching the person like a hawk- but let it kind of, just appear to you. I know i has a higher chance of hurting, but then, it has the same chance of not hurting too.

To be more specific- yes, it is possible to feel like someone is lying to you when they are not. We do not have perfect senses, and when we begin to think a certain way, it will influence everything. Paranoia, trust issues, regret, and fear will all influence our decisions about people. What we then must do, is regulate which quantities of these things we allow ourselves to feel.

Am I feeling/thinking like this because I expect him to hurt me?
Am I just saying this because I know she'll betray me in the end?
There are times when you just, KNOW, something isn't right or when someone is lying. But confront someone about it all the time WILL drive them away. Instead, it ma be more helpful to simply note the possible lie, as suspect, write it down say- and then really look at it. Was it meant to hurt you? or just defend them? Or was it even meant to spare you? Was it meant to spare someone else? Is it really a lie? These are things you should decide for yourself on how to handle it, but ultimately know this beyond all the lies and truths. There is a central truth.

It doesn't matter how many people may lie to you, it doesn't matter what kind of lies they use. You are intelligent enough not to trust blindly and thus keep yourself out of dangerous situations. There is a certain benefit of the doubt, but there are also limits. As long as you are sure of yourself, physically, and aware of your situation, no one can really harm you- unless inadvertently or in a way that simply overpowers common sense. Like some kind of hidden assassin. ...you are stronger than you think, you can take a few hits. (emotionally, mentally) so how about giving people a few strikes before you knock em' out the park?

You can trust me after all, I'm an actor. I lie for a living.

Trust has always been a scary issue for me, i mean the people closest to me have all betrayed me. ( My mother sleeping with my daughters father i think was the point i went bizarre) But i think what your saying is all well so true. I really like this guy, and if i want it to work, then trust has to be there. I'm stressing myself out, him out, and its not making anything better. But I think to myself, after accusing him of something so many times, why hasn't he just left is he was telling the truth? Time will tell. I'm going to give it a shot, I know it will take time, But I got to at least try to open my heart up and learn to trust again.
Your an actor? that's awesome! you must love it, NYC?. . . LA?

Well maybe the reason he hasn't split is because he doesn't want to. But yes, trust is a harsh thing for many. We all need to learn to trust more, even if it's just our selves or that things will turn out well.

As far as acting goes, with BPD? Nowhere. Been in a few 'student' quality films, but surrounding myself with the 'hustle' when you're unreliable doesn't work to well as a career.

Hope you find happiness and trust!