I am scared and full of uncertainty. Recently diagnosed high

I am scared and full of uncertainty. Recently diagnosed high risk hpv in 12/21. I had a colposcopy which came back with cin1 and cin 2. Some low grade and some high grade. My gyn specialist didn’t break down what that meant and I knew the results as they posted to my chart. I had to Google to figure out what it meant and got more clarity from my primary doctor. Scheduled for a leep procedure in March which was rescheduled for April now. The whole time I’m thinking is it getting worst. Trying to stay optimistic but my mind is powerful and internet searching isn’t making it better. On top of all this I have a lump on the side of my tongue which since it isn’t ugly looking as described by the oral surgeon than nothing to biopsy. While having symptoms of sore throat and earache which ent saw nothing. I’m just scared something is going to be diagnosed when it is late.

God I get it, anything out of the norm when get your results is so scary, I remember when they found an abnormal lump in my breast, I am pretty nervous for my upcoming mammogram because again, there is always the chance for bad news. Searching on the internet is the worst. I know it feels like you are in the dark and you shouldn't be, but if the doctors feel the leep is the best way to deal with this, then wait until after the procedure to stress check all your numbers. I hope everything goes well and that you have no further need for intervention. Hugs.

@CKBlossom Thank you so much, so do you cope on a day to day. I’m always looking at my mouth multiple times daily… scared of oral cancer since I have some symptoms. I’m a mess. So scared sometimes I just want to be held.