I am so sad right now. My common law husband of 13 years has broken my trust in us. We have never had any real issues until last year one of his ex-coworkers was going through a difficult time. He wanted to be there for her because she stuck up for him in the past at work. I didn't have a problem with it because I thought she was a good person but just had issues (drugs, work, relationship). Later I learned that she is very clingy and of course this became a problem for us. He was only suppose to be support through a rough patch and she begin to latch on like it was a relationship. For example, calling him when her power is out or if she slips and falls, etc. I confronted him about all the time he was spending with her and how this has changed into something I'm not comfortable with. We began to argue routinely over this. Finally, he stopped seeing her they kept in touch but not like before. Recently, I noticed that he has been communicating with her more. I told him I don't like it because I see the pattern starting again. He says he's just trying to be there for a friend because her mom was diagnosed with cancer. I don't have a problem with him supporting a friend but until 4am and not returning my calls or text. I think is disrespectful. He acts like I'm being insensitive for having an issue with this. My argument is why must he be there late at night she has family, sister, and other friends but she keep calling on him. We were happy for 12 years and could always talk about anything and tell each other everything. But, now it has all changed.
That us rough. Im sorry you are going through this. Continue to express how you feel.
Sounds like he may be having an emotional affair. In my opinion, he needs to cut off all contact with her NOW. MH was helping a friend/former classmate through some rough times over the phone, texting, facebook until he met up with her. Now we are here and I'm struggling to come to terms with him cheating and trying to start our marriage over. You might want to see a counselor yourself and invite your husband for joint counseling. He is playing with fire if he hasn't already lit the match. Tried telling MH I didn't give a rats backside about her problems and that we need to work on our rough times. This woman needs to find a new friend to help her.
Sorry if I sounded bossy. Your situation rang so many bells with mine. Difference is I was uncomfortable with him talking to the OW but I never said anything because he was helping a friend and I trusted MH. Go with your gut.
Thanks for the response. I agree that its an emotional affair. We discussed the issue again a few days ago and he claimed that he is not going to communicate with her again. But, my gut is telling me that he is just going to hide it now. So, I have some tough choices to make. I moved out of state to be with him 13 years ago and I never regretted it until now. Now I have to decide if it is worth staying and trying to work it out or if it is time to go back to my home state where all my family and friends are, find a new job, and move on.