I am so scared! Last week I realized that I have HOCD or something like it? IDK I was a little worry to even post this because I know for most of you their is a fear what if I am gay and I did not want to worry you by posting this but I need answers. I am a male and I have been attractive to guys from a very young age. For almost a year and a half now I worry what if I am not gay. I thought it was because I just struggle with being gay but now see that it is most likely OCD. I worry what if I am straight, bi, asexual, when really I know that is not true. I have to prove to myself that I am gay by watching gay porn to see that I get a reaction. I also have to watch straight/ lesbian porn to prove that I do not get a reaction. Just recently I started getting no reaction to gay porn even though I did like a week ago. That freaks me out even more. I am always thinking about my past and thinking did I really like that guy. Does anyone know what I should do? or know anyone who have my problem?
Sorry, so you identify as Gay and worry whether you are straight, http://www.brainphysics.com/yourenotgay.php, brilliant article that might help. Hugs!
Yes! thank you so much! The fear is what if I am not gay. I worry what if I am straight even though I am 100% I am not. Also what if i am asexual. It never ends!
@Cooper4545 There are many like you, only less than straights fearing that they are gay, because statistically, there are fewer gays than heterosexuals in the world. I will quote another article from the therapist Jon
Hershfield: “Also bear in mind that we will continue to use “gay” or “homosexual” to be synonymous with alternative orientations for simplicity’s sake only. Homosexual and bisexual individuals with OCD can, and do, sometimes obsess about being straight.”
We all have your problem, which is obsessing with some of our insecurities, fears and thoughts we cannot control. OCD can attack anyone and of any orientation. We fear that we are gays in denial, you fear that you are a hetero or bi in denial. t's the same thing. And what you need to do is go to an OCD therapist and begin treatment.
If he is an OCD therapist, he will know, because there is no "H"OCD, only OCD. HOCD is an internet name, not a real one. Others call it SO-OCD (sexual orientation ocd) which is more accurate since as you have proven, it can affect homosexuals and bisexuals too. So if he/she is an OCD specialist, then he will recognize it. And even if it not and it's another kind f problem, i'd think it's better to know than to keep obsessing, isn't it?
PD: I have supported you but i don't seem to be able to message you.
I think so