I am starting to think about suicide.
How come? How can I help? What are you going through? I've been there myself. Please talk to me?
Please dont, It may be hard to see but the world needs you.
Talk to us...
Just feel hopeless...I'm unable to purge all the bad stipuff anymore (bulimia)...my anger use to get me threw but that's not helping anymore...it is as if I'm seeing life for the first time without my vices and I not only don't like what I see but I am now at a dead end. Taking care of my son kept me sober but he's graduating next year and I feel so lost. I can't connect with people...most people don't like me which is fine cause they always let me down...life sucks and there is not much I can do about it.
I worry about who is going to take care of my 2 dogs cause I’ve made them as neurotic as I am. So now I have to live as long as they do or they will have to come with me…I don’t want to leave them behind.
The only thing promised in this life is we are going to die. Things change if you allow it and take steps. You aren't thinking clear. You can get thru what it is you're going thru. Imagine how your child would feel ....you are supposed to bee here. I'm sorry your having there feelings I am going thru a very hard time myself. I feel alone. I used. To think if suicide until my brother killed himself and I saw what it did to me and the family..especially my mom. His child is having horrible issues and is angry cheesiest have a dad. You will be ok.
@somanytearsyo sorry about your brother. And yes suicide is not good for those living and our lives are not our own to take…but mental illness is sometimes self defeating. That is why life is 1 day at a time for me. If I think about anymore than 1 day I’d end it now.
I can't seem to stay on meds...I usually give up on them or have.n allergic reaction to them. I saw that ther is a therapy for borderline personality but I looked it up and opulent find it. I was first diagnosed with depression, the manic-depression, then bipolar and now borderline...so I do have highs but the older I've gotten the highs aren't kicking in to get me through the lows. Never thought of suicide as an option before but not it feels like my only option.
i was diagnosed the same way you were... but its true a lot of borderline people don't think they have it. a lot of them think about suicide all the time. But we are such passonite *sp people. Right now I don't know what point you stand but your either thinking I want to do it or just let go. but deep inside I hope your thinking that your scared of doing it. Which would mean you wont. its the feelings you have to fight all the time. im off my meds right now I cannot wait till Thursday. But I think about suicide a lot. I know ill never do it. its black and white with us. you should really try some meditation with some binaural beats. This relaxes me.
I've tried everything...I've been traumatized and have learned to live with it. I remember being sad from very early...which is funny cuz in my family I was the "happy" one I was the clown always smiling for the camera. I remember putting on the smile when I grew nearer to home because I knew my dad would see me and he didn't think much of depression. But that is who I got it from...him. Of course I was sexually molested by my half brother. I thought from potty training age but I found out recently from birth. The borderline personality didn't hit me until teenage years. I remember being really depressed growing up.certain things like yellow lights really increased my thoughts of not wanting to live. I've struggled with not wanting to live all my life. I grew up very religious and that is what has kept me alive thus far.
God is here he is closest to the people suffering and in pain. Pray talk to God. Know your worthy of life. Join outside support groups where u can connect with people. I am glad you are here. You deserve to be alive. I was depressed a lot too God always brought me thru things. Where abouts do you live? Don't give address or anything city is fine.
We are all here for you
I grew up the same way you did. I know the pain you are going through except the yellow lights. That's how it is when we grow up like that. I think people like us really do need medication. I don't think you can just learn how to be a different person because that's just not how we are and it wont last long. I was going way down hill doing crazy things and that's when I became very religious Christian. But now that im older its only depressed my emotions and made me feel more bad about how I feel or do. It never lifted me up. Maybe for a quick prayer but that's about it. I am spiritual but just until a little while ago I had these feelings about religion. I can never make up my mind and im always confused. Ive tried to except that's the way im always going to be but I cant. Im constantly fighting myself. Im my own worse enemy.