Greetings Jonasjames:
Congratulations on your 2 days being sober. I have been 11 days sober from strong spirits and beer. Like you, I was raised in a family where the alcohol flowed. My father taught me how to drink because he said a woman should hold her liquor, and he was also an alcoholic. I admit that I did not have to continue this behavior, but I used it as a crutch when times become unbearable.
I will admit it has been one issue in my life that I will not deny it did have an influence on my marriages, my children, my career, my family and friends. It's an on-going battle, a disease, and PLEASE, DO NOT BELIEVE THAT LIE OF DRINKING IN MODERATION. I have traveled worldly too. I've been a member of a few social clubs, Texas and New Jersey, and we dranked every day after work and on weekends. It finally became boring to me because the members' in the Texas club complained my drinks were to expensive when we brought rounds, but they did not have a problem accepting drinks from me. New Jersey social club was a blast! Sadly, I was given the grand opportunity at the ripe age of 26 of acquiring the taste for Scotch or cognac, by non other than my family members. I chose Remy Martin. Here I am 24 years later, battling this disease to quit. Okay, so I'm told two drinks is social. I have not made it there yet, and as a matter of fact, I'm at the stage of binge drinking, beer of course.
I find that when I am stressed, I reach for a beer among other things that are not good for me. So, the best advise I can give you, and to support you is to take it one day at a time, when you relapse, pick yourself up and keep going on. Don't judge yourself too harshly because this is something you must want to do for yourself, and not for anyone else. I hear you saying you want to do this for your former wife and three beautiful girls, in tough love, this is not the way; you must be wanting this for yourself. Battling alcoholism is not something that is going to be an overnight cure. It's work, hard work. If you are a praying man, ask many to pray for you, and pray for yourself. THE FIRST BATTLE IS ADMITTING IT TOO YOURSELF.
I went to AA and a few alcoholic groups for veterans, but they were not for me. I find pyschotherapy has helped, because it allows me to dig deep inside to determine the root cause of why I drink, learn better coping skills, etc. Yes, I admit I enjoyed my cognac, and even had the opportunity in New Jersey of meeting and socializing with Remy Martin, Jr., but due to the history, if I want an enriching life, I had to quit. Funny thing, I do beer when I binge, and I do not even like the stuff. Weird Huh? Maybe one day in the not so near future, I may be able to be a social drinker again, have a few yacs or not. I guess I'll have to return to drinking Perrier Mineral water.
I'll pray for you, and wish you the best.
SD