I been think about the negativity that can come from being in a position of unemployment or under employment. When does dwelling on reality become dangerous? I am not saying reject reality and pretend things are perfect, but falling into a depression or worse is a real problem. Somewhere between worrying about my current position and grieving over what was lost I was falling into a depression. For those people that have never experienced depression it is the worst pain in the world. I joined this group at the very least to learn to cope with the emotional aspects of this position. Focusing on reality near drove me to the pits of depression. I lost this I lost that. I am a failure. Who going to want somebody like me. I will never be able to cope or support my family. All of this is dangerous thinking when it comes to depression, possibly detrimental to my ability to cope and the search. What has been helping me was meeting people in similar positions, knowing I am not alone and it is possible to work through this. I seen people in worse situations (homeless, addicted, etc.) turn their lives around and what was possible for them is possible for me. I been trying to take care of myself and stay busy to cope. I try not to focus on my concerns more than necessary. I still have difficult days but there are a few days that are good too despite my current situation.
I really like your attitude charm27.
Nobody is happy being unemployed but I have learned it affects men and women differently. During my first year of unemployment I had a very difficult time. After 28 years in one place many of the people I worked with had become my family in many ways. I knew as much about them and their families as I did my own. For men it strikes a serious blow to their self esteem rendering them feeling helpless and alone . This is how I felt and I must say I've found very few people who understand this. I guess that's why the clichés that were thrown my way have always irritated me . When you feel this way it just grates on you for some one to say "change is good" . It makes you want to scream, or even worse sometimes.
When a man loses his job he sees his viability as a human being in our society going right down the drain.
No, you're definitely not alone nor is there anything about your situation we've not felt as members of a displaced group of Americans struggling to find our way back from the isolation , despair and uselessness that is unemployment.
There's always one thing I know for sure and that is, brighter days have to be just ahead judging from where I sit at the moment.