I begged my mom not to buy the **** cookies. "You won't have them, they are for you dad". Yeah, right, lol. I wonder how much water weight will I gain tomorrow, especially if I threw it all up today. Not a good sign!!
I had anorexia so I understand what your going through. In my experience part of my healing process was learning to except my body, and learning to love myself. I didn't love myself, so I let my emotions take over. The mental abuse my mother caused me led me to stop eating completely. I got so sick and was almost on my death bed. I leaned in God because I needed him help and encouragement. I surrendered to him completely and to this day I have stopped depriving myself and I got the help I needed. God gave me resources that I needed. One is therapy, but to be completely honest, therapy didn't help me it only taught me that the underlining reason why I was harming myself. My mother is extremely narsistic, so it took a tole on me. I wasn't brought up to love myself, therefore I didn't. Instead of putting myself number one, I put my mother number one. She trained me that way. it took some time until I could reclaim my body back, but I did. I know you can to, you just need to dig deep and figure out the underlining reason why you are killing yourself this way. It sounds horrible to say it that way, but it's the truth. I have faith in you
I know the feeling....... I always tell my husband not to buy certain things but he(and me too I suppose) think I should be able to have the willpower to say no. It's hard.
Yeah. I end up eating the stuff, then the guilt starts