I hate the fact that I stayed married to a man for 22 years that emotionally and physically abused me during that time. The only thing good I got out of it is two wonderful boys. The idiot has also cheated on me and got hooked into porn web sites. He left his family because he compared living off his companies money during business trips to real life at home. He said to me, "I found out I was happier without you when I was away."He was also told by many asian women that he is gods gift to mankind, but of course they are blind when it comes to the truth. I wonder if they would feel the same way if they knew the real person he is. I hate that man right now, and I hate the fact that I stayed with him and fell for all his crap. I really think he fell out of the idiot tree and hit every branch on the way down. He is dressing differently, wearing gold awful jewelry, and dying his hair. I think he needs to wake up and see he needs to quit acting like he is 15 years younger. Why did I not leave him sooner?
Hi verbekeb, Welcome to supportboards! I'm sorry about what you've been through but know that you are not alone! There's quite a club of us women who have experienced the same things you have and the people here have literally carried me through some very tough days. I am certain you will meet some of them within the next couple of days. Please don't be discouraged if it takes a couple days sometimes, to get more responses. It's a BIG place and there are many wonderful people here but some aren't able to get here every day.
You are definately not the first person to ask why we didn't leave sooner! Actually I think that every single woman in our position has asked that very same question! I know I have! I am sure that within a week of posting and reading posts, you will start to feel like you aren't alone and you will be surprised at how many other people seem to be telling your exact story or very close to it!
I know this is a tough time but if you don't mind, I'd like to ask a few questions so that we can better know what advice and support will benefit you and your children most right now. There's a whole "process" of emotions that occur during this very trying time so sometimes it helps to have someone give some practical advice to better ensure you and your children get the things you deserve from your "has-been".
Have you contacted anyone about the abuses you've endured? Has he hurt the boys physically? Your local women's shelters can be very helpful in filing for OFP's and restraining orders etc.. also, have you contacted an attorney because you are going to need one and the sooner the better. These jerks usually want LOTS of their money to impress their new "future victims" so be ware that you might need to fight right now to get him to take responsibility for you and the children.
I hope I haven't asked too many questions. I just know that the advice I got here in those first days on the board, were so useful and helpful. It helped me to take control of what happened to me and my children as best as I could.
Again, I'm so sorry that you have endured this stuff too, but I am glad you are here, because it's a very wonderful place to get support and to feel better.
Sending hugs, Suzee