I can't even think straight. Can't think of one reason for my existence any longer. Sometimes it is too late for some. Sometimes some are too damaged. Sometimes some are too empty. Sometimes i am too alone. . . Times like this moment now, i just want to end it all so badly. . . sick of feeling this way and idk how to fix it. Always feeling out of breath and like my head is about to completely explode, this emptiness that has consumed me. . .
Yesterday that feeling like I was leaning over the precipice was so strong that I finally just cried, I was feeling overwhelmed by everything, it felt like a elephant was on my chest and I just had to let go. Today, I did my yoga and felt for the first time perhaps I am learning just a little to let it go, meaning, there is so little I can control in life and I have to let all the rest go or it will crush me. I am totally learning myself how to deal when my depression goes from a tiny creature I can deal with when suddenly it morphs to a fire breathing dragon that chokes me and renders me crying and feeling like I am at the end of my rope. Sometime when you get to the edge, knowing that you can only go down or pull yourself up and climb up helps put things in perspective. I hope today is a better day and know you are in my thoughts.
hugs-
CK
2 Hearts
Don't ever give up. Just keep looking for different way to heal when you're up enough to try. It WILL get better!
1 Heart
Thanks to you both. I see where yalls hearts are at. Lately still, I've unfortunately still felt this way. I just really don't know how to even start a healing process anymore. Ive honestly got no one. People around me are just untrustworthy and that includes family. Anytime I show an once of vulnerability, its against me... I do not know where my future lies anymore.
Hey, I hope you're sill hanging in there. I sent you an email. Get back to me ok? I want to talk you through this.
1 Heart
Don't give up ! Thinggs will get better I promise. Focus on loving you. I will pray for you. God bless you