I caught my wife over a month ago having an emotional affair

I caught my wife over a month ago having an emotional affair. It has been a daily struggle. On the positive she broke it off imeadiateley and we have had some of the best times of our lives since then. I need to add I was for many years prior a good husband and father in almost all aspects, except I neglected my wife in many ways I showed no affection, we had sex 10 times a year and that's on me for sure not her. The problem is I found out more information and more information every week in last month, my wife suggested couples counseling when I caught her. Mostly everything I have caught her on videos, text, u name it. My struggle trying to get this out of my head to move on. She has forgiven me for being a lifeless husband for years. Therer is alot more to this just needing advice please, open to messages on her also for help. Thank you

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messages on here meant to say, thx

Almost everything I caught her on devices info, She said if we would have went to couples counseling and she had a safe place she would have admitted all of it. I have never yelled or even raised my voice at her through all this, just trying to cope get answers so I could move on. Plus I had though because of videos that she says was roleplaying she may have met him some.

Hi Leo - sorry you have had to end up here looking for help.. we will do what we can..my wife too had an online affair which i found out about about 2 months ago.. And yes like you I didn't find out everything straight away but as i asked more and more questions found out other things.. The advice I can give you is - if she is remorseful and wants to make amends that is good.. you can work on this.. regardless of how you were beforehand it can get better.. you will have good days and bad (cannot deny that) but the good days will get more often.. She will need to understand that not only must she have broken of ALL contact with the AP, she needs to be very very open with you to get your trust back.. which right now if you are like me is shattered.. you may go through stages of questioning her on everything.. you may feel numb.. it is all normal.. i am hoping it passes.. If you have any questions ask us.. if you just want to rant go ahead.. we are here to help..

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And if she may have met him.. do you think she did.. or she will not admit to it??

@Vision666 can u message me please I would like your opionion and I don’t know how to message thank u

thank you very much, I don't think she met him, but there is so much evidence that looks like she did on 2 occasions, One is where she sent him a series of videos saying they were going to meet one actually is her justifying to him it was ok because they were both neglected, next video was her buying condems and telling someone, next video was her in hotel room telling someone she couldn't believe she bought condems, those 2 condem videos she said she sent to a freind cause she was alergic to vibrator so thats why she bought condems, then last video was her holding a paper in video at door of hotel saying his name and saying the key wouldn't work that she would have to go back down and get key.. Now on that day my 13 year old son was with her, in that last video she said 2 room numbers, one was paid for in our bank and the other one was paid for on her expedia account, she told me she never booked 2 rooms then when I saw it on expedia with a different card she said he must have done it somehow on her account, then I found her personal mastercard and the numbers matched it so I asked her and she said it was a room she got for my sister cause we where up there when my dad was in the hospital but my sister didn't stay and I remember her asking my sister to go to hotel, she told me she thought of that after I confronted her and she was going to tell me after she got advise from therapist. I will state it's the not knowing sometimes if it happened worse than if it happened. Regardless I will not leave her just want closure. I love her and I know she loves me, she says she was filling a void because of my lack of lovemaking and affection. What do u think, thank u

I will tell u about other day after thoughts on first one, thx

to my knowledge this lasted for 3 months, sexting, phone & video sex, emotional I love yous that seemed real, now here is some info my wife is an attractive 45 year old the man is an old very creepy 65 yes 65 year old that is very sucsessful and educated. My dad was battling for his life and I was gone alot and she stayed with my dad also, but e affair was mainly while my dad was in hospital.

But I know she cut off all contact and told me she never loved him it was a fantasay/role play.

do u think its any worse seeing her in videos sexual and telling him she loves him, or actually being with him, she talked to this old man over hour a day, plus used whats app so no telling how many text I have seen some videos not all, she said some videos that are missing would show that she told him no.

the other guy, I saw videos where she told him she loved him, and she was ready, I have phone records, the old man she called daily not many texts but there are videos and whats app, the younger guy she text over 1300 times in 3 months, some could have been work related

Sorry you are here. Yea getting things out of our heads is a real struggle . No excuse is a good one to cheat !!!

@Ceciliamcd thank u

what is your honest opinion on evidence please. thank u

Are you sure she's has stopped all contact ?? Can you look at her phone any time ?

@Ceciliamcd Yes, I know as of 3 days ago because I have seen all of her devices, she did change where I couldn’t look 3 days ago because I would obsess and stay up all night looking, but she told me I could look at her devices anytime no questions anytime

If she is suggesting couples therapy, do it

@cantseestraight She goes back in fourth, I think we will, thank u

Find a therapist and make the appointment. Tell her She needs to go.