I was married in August of 2010. My husband and I had a good relationship. Before we got married we were the couple that people envied. People still can't believe that as of right now we are seperated. We had our share of problems. He started going to bars every Saturday night, something he had never done before. I grew to be very lonely. Not only for this but also the fact that he works 3rd shift and I work 1st shift.
In late April of 2011, I started to see another man, then things with my husband got worse. I left him a month later. When I we split. He decided he was going to move out. I then continued my "relationship" with the other man. My husband found out that I was with him. He says now that he has lost all respect for me, because the man I was with is his "enemy" or in other words the last person in the world I could have chosen. (to him)
Now with a clear head I have thought things through and I want my husband to come back. I want us to fix our marraige. He now says he has found another woman who he says doesn't love because he still loves me. I told him I want our marraige to work out and he says there is too much hurt and pain. (mind you these are the same things I told him when I broke up with him.) He says he'll have to think about it. In the meantime, I'm dying inside. I just want my husband back.
You need to talk open and honestly about what you both want from your relationship and the realistic expectations. I would seriously suggest counseling at least as a mediator and they are able to give exercises that will guide you in the right direction. There seems to be alot of anger from both parties involved and that will take some time to work through. use all available resources that you have it takes a serious commitment from both for it work and of course real genuine remorse for your deeds.
Infidelity is a very difficult thing for many people to live with ... if your husband decides he wants out, I hope you accept it.
your story sounds similer to mine as we where the golden couple,apart from the fact i was the one who got cheated on, i have forgiven my girlfreind , and ill be honest things have been great, even though im still haunted by the cheating it hurts, what i did was try to fix the problems in our relationship, but you have to understand that a man has pride you need to make your husband feel like a man again you need to tell him he is more of a man than this other guy will ever be, and also you need to make sure you dont cheat again if you get back together and it dosnt work out end the relationship dont cheat again , i know if my girl did that again i would never talk to her again , but good luck i can see you really love your husband , so i hope it works out, and by the way he loves you too hes proberbly scared
You need to be open & honest with your husband. Marriages are hard work & they all go through there share of problems. It is difficult to forgive someone for cheating on you-but it is possible. My husband has cheated on me in the past & we are slowly working on out problems/trying to make it work out. I still have doubts of his faithfulness-and it will be hard for your husband to regain trust in you. You might want to see a therapist to help you discuss your issues & work things out. Do you think your husband also cheated on you? If you both are willing to put the time in, I am hopeful that you can eventually work things out. I wish you all the best!
well here is a little update.... we have now started talking, how is your day stuff like that... no insulting or anything. he says he still loves me and told me he needs a couple of days to think... wish me luck.
Is he still seeing this other woman? You know while he is sorting out his thoughts? What have you been doing in the meantime? Alot can happen in five weeks. I'm just curious. It sounds nice that you two seem to be to speak even if it is briefly. It's a start to hopefully a nice open dialouge and completely open commuincation. Those are very important pieces to putting humpty back together. It's not easy and it's alot of work, hard work.