Hello folks, I'm Going to try to not drink today again. I've been trying to pick a day for about two months now and every time that day comes I just give in and pick another day. I got divorced bout two years ago and haven't had a sober day yet. Iv'e gone sober for a year twice, so i know whats coming. I wont sleep for awhile and I will get really bad panic attacks at work which is embarrassing. The hardest part for me is coming home and finding something to do when i dont have my incredible children. I was just looking for some ideas on getting used to not haveing a 12 pack plan my day. Thanks for your help!!
helo pwhitt-I understand the difficulty of not being able to stop drinking-no I have 2 1/2 years-it all starts with one day-sometimes one hour, one minute at a time.Have you looked into other areas of support? How about looking for that something to do being go to an AA meeting?Couldn't hurt-if you don't like it ?....God bless you in your struggle.AA is the only thing that's worked for me-plus this site is a wonderful way to get your feelings out-keep us posted-you're worth it!
Thanks Donna K, I get that AA is probably the best start. I went to a few years ago and i just get to uncomfertable in groups of people and when they ask me to read out loud from the AA book. I know thats sounds a bit weak but thats what it is. I thought I,d try online for some answeres and support. Thanks so much for replying and god bless you too.
Pwhitt
p.s forgive my spelling
Pwhitt…I’ve sat right where you are now. I went a few years w/o missing a day of having at least a 6 pk or a pint of whiskey. I would say that I wouldn’t drink when I got home from work, but I just couldn’t stop. I did ALL the bargaining technics that you play on your brain…I’ll only drink on wkends, I’ll stick to beer, I won’t drink to excess, I’ll only drink one day a week. They ALL worked for a while, then right back to where I was when I started.
I quit for 6 months, cold turkey…wasn’t easy, but it was the best scenario for me. It went to visit some old friends who I used to drink with and had a few drinks with them, intending on quitting again when my visit was finished.
Unfortunately I think you can see where this is going. When I came back from my visit I couldn’t stop AGAIN, and my drinking appitite was more ferious than ever before.
I started going to a support group, but drank the entire time during the period of time that I attended. Finally, I went to a routine dr’s visit and told my dr that I started drinking again. I respect my dr very much, and she just turned at said to me, “there is NO MAGIC PILL, either your going to quit drinking or your going to die an alcoholic.” “Either your going to put the commitment and the work into getting and staying sober, or your going to die an early death.” “It’s that simple!!!” For whatever reason, I think the respect that I have for her, her words hit home with me.
I rememer being happy, and having a love for life. I really wanted that feeling again, and I HATED what I had become and was SOOO unhappy. So try to remember happier days, and plan out the baby steps it’s going to take to get you back to a place where you are happy with your life again. Just don’t try to do it alone…it almost always ends in failure. Try going back to AA, and if someone ask’s you to read, tell them if you can “take a pass” because you’re feeling anxious, they should all understand that.
Unfortunately, due to my drinking, I will have a few heath issues that are irreversable, and I’m in my early 40’s. YOU DO NOT WANT IT TO GET TO THIS POINT!!!
Hello Pwhitt. There is no doubt AA has helped a ton of people. But I also understand what you are saying - not condoning it - just understand it. I have avoided AA for reasons of my own. This has been my first attempt at getting better and I've been a member here for only 11 days. But it has been 11 SOBER days. Like you said, going home to an empty house is tough. Over the past 11 days, when I get home with no-one there, I get anxious and start thinking of having just one drink. But I've found logging into this site helps and it is only a matter of minutes the bad urges pass. Then I go for a walk, maybe talk to some neighbors who are also out for a walk, go to a mall - - - I do something to keep myself busy. I've forgotten what it is like to just go out and be with other people. When my wife and kids are around it is a different story. Facing the evening alone can be a chalenge. But hang tough. You can do it. Take it moment by moment - day by day. Prove to yourself you can do this. 11 days ago I really didn't think I'd make it 1 hour.
Thanks Roxbury and congratz on your 11 days. You must feel pretty good
hey you 2 -I'm not here to tell you what to do -just offer support!! getting sober enough to get online would've been next to impossible for me in early sobriety!So keep looking for support -we definately have that here!I know that this site has been very helpful to me- not everybody can sit in a roomful of strangers to get help-so keep posting and look for the encouragement here! If I can do it-(believe me I've been pretty miserable when drunk or using) Anyone can!!Take care friends
I am on day 23. for me it is important to keep count. at least now, it is. I, too have much TIME on wknds.....when others call....Must stay in the meetings best I can and develop new associatons. I am still fragile. To drink would be easy, yet it leads me furher down the dark path. I cannot even do it in secret casue I KNOW. Anyways, By posting here, there is support and I can read others going thru similar circumstances. I wish I could attend My Church. But my sooon to be X is there with his latest G/F. I am not that strong ! Actually , the first time we divorced, he hooked up with one of my best friends, took her to our church tooooo. She, too, is still there. Toooo many of his sexual women at church. Yet, I miss praising/worshiping My Jesus. SAD. One day, I will find a new place to worship. At this time, I feel far away from My God. suppose in time, this will change. I was told by my Deacon Wife, whom fired me: said: God does not hear my prayers, thus he will not answer them cause I did not volunteer at the church, I held onto my 2bX, and did not forgive him, and on and on. This sadden me. Another woman told me: that is not LOVE. God is Love No matter if I volunteer, or anything ???! Confused is not even a big enough word to explain how I feel. I WANT to stay clean, I don't want to run away anymore, I don't want to HIDE anymore. I don't want to LIE, STEAL from family anymore. I WANT to make it thru another day, have a positive outlook on life. At this time, my outlook is bleak.
i Hear the frustration of people who are nervous in public. There are smaller AA meetings in some areas. I would seek them out of there are any. Also, if you could go too just enough meetings to find a sponsor and some AA friends this would be a great benefit also.
This one line thing has some advantages. One is being able too think things through before posting. It's also available to some degree any time of the day. However you don't get instant feed back. Also, there is more to sobriety then just not drinking. I have many AA and non AA friends. In early sobriety it's good for a new comer to just hang with sober people.
A final note. There is a book I saw at the library, Called " the Easy Way to Quit Drinking" personally I would use it only if you could not get too meetings. I know the smoking version has helped some people.